HUMAN ANATOMY AWESOMENESS: THE FOOD BABY!


I am a pretty big fan of eating so much that I feel like I need to die or explode.  The second will do just fine for both of those functions.  My brain isn’t smart enough to tell my stomach to stop… I am pretty sure my stomach would kick the shit out of my brain if they fought.  My brain doesn’t get a lot of workouts, my stomach is the iron man of stomachs.  I can eat fucking nails!

Ouch.  Nope can’t eat nails!  My next shit is gonna suck.

I am aided by either the fastest metabolism on earth, a tapeworm, or bulimia.  Which is fucking awesome! I can eat whatever I want, yes I am looking at you whip cream in a can, yes you are going straight in my mouth.  Or all over my face, chest, hair, balls.  I have a couple of cans so I have plenty don’t you worry your pretty little face none.

A few weeks ago I ate a little anita’s chicken and bean burrito, smothered in green chili and cheese with a side of rice / beans / chips.  Then, AND YES, by then I do mean right after, polished off a Chick-fil-a spicy chicken sandwich.  Which might be the Jesus of spicy chicken sandwiches.  In that it saved my life… If I wrote a “bible” about food the hero would be the spicy chicken sandwich…so yea I think that metaphor works pretty damn well.

The food baby is a combination of eating to much and not having a belly.  For about 40 minutes after I gorge on bon bons and toblerones I look pregnant, then I give birth two hours later to diarrhea.  (I am not going to lie I have been waiting forever to make that joke, your welcome for hearing it)

Trying to find food baby pics on the internet is tough.  So this was my favorite.

What a CAT scan of my stomach looks like. I am pretty sure that is what CAT Scans do. And yes, I ate a baby... and a chair.

I am going to eat a wedding cake. Enjoy your night.  I will be thinking about you.

——

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY#126

MYSTERY JETS – DREAMING OF ANOTHER WORLD

one of my favorite albums this year.  They just make great, catchy, fun music.

Enjoy

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4 Responses to “HUMAN ANATOMY AWESOMENESS: THE FOOD BABY!”

  1. Damn it, I couldn’t sleep last night and now I know why. Do not eat wedding cake and think about me again.

  2. I gave birth whilst reading this

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