BUSINESS OWNERSHIP AWESOMENESS: OWNING A FOUNTAIN!
Hey I didn’t go to Harvard business school but I know a good business opportunity when I see one. You only need a few ingredients. Dumb people, poor financial planning, gullibility, some expendable income and a puddle or rocks with water in the middle or a bucket would probably work. Put a bucket outside your business put a sign that say 25C wishes. Then a few hours later go hit on the babes at the local casino. Cause your gonna have so many fucking 25 cent pieces! (quarters for the lay person, hey lay person go get some knowledge before you troll around my work)
Once your have had your fill of the elderly, second hand smoke and casino surf and turf you can go back and replenish the bucket. Because people always throw money into fountains. It is incredible. And don’t get me wrong folks, I am not calling these people dumb or assholes, well kinda, but I do it too. I see a fountain and I grab my last nickel (wow who would have thought that word was el….huh learn something everyday), Then I wish that daredevil and Verne from the Ernest movies would hang out with me. Then I flip it ever so daintily and wait for my dreams to come true. Re reading that paragraph makes it sound like I am dumb asshole. … Takes one to know one. Yup. (what?) I dont know just keep reading.
Back to fountains. I swear to god I’ve seen fountains with like 10,000 coins in them!!! That could be any where from 1-17 million dollars. National debt solved. The I need a new hair dryer fund, solved. Lunch = done and done.
In fact throwing money in backwards is like reversing your wish. I wanna live forever wish = just hit but a bus. I want a million dollars = just hit by a bus. I want a pet monkey = this one you actually get a pet monkey but its the fuck from Outbreak and you get ebola and die a horrible death before Cuba Gooding Jr can fly a helicopter through a canyon. Yea you forgot about that part it’s okay. It’s wonderful.
Last but not least if you just put one at your house stupid fat kids will just give you beer / crack money – It is okay I do not judge.
One last great thing. If you and pals wanna dance around in the fountain you will just maybe get your own sitcom… that wasn’t as good as Seinfeld…
ENOUGH OF FOUNTAINS!!!!!
HELICOPTERS! AND MISSILES AND STUFF!
Awesome Song of The Day #117
Time of the Season