MY HEROES AWESOMENESS: SCORPION!

Usually when an annoying person yaks on about the summer solstice or how good kabobs are…no phil, I don’t want one!  All I want to do is throw a rope spear from my palm, gently impale their torso and ask them ever so sweetly to “come over here” then I give them a swift uppercut, or just say “hey…soooooshhhhhh”.  Because I was raised by the Sega Genesis …. and 16 bit decapitations.  Which are only slightly less cool than real lifes ones.

Now you know what is above my bed...

You want to hear about the 2nd best day of my life.  Well it was yesterday.  I was at my day job, as a nerdy female.  I was walking around some sort of building.  I heard somebody yell mortal kombat then I brake danced and got my picture taken with Scorpion.  Almost as sweet as the day I got to tour the ketchup factory and they let me take home 5! count em bitch 5! Ketchup packets.  Uhh huhhh. Be jealous its okay.  Yep it was Heinze fuck Hunts.

ME WITH MY IDOL!

I am a good looking lady

Enough

—-

Awesome song of the Day #68

MORTAL KOMBAT – RAIDEN AND THE LIGHTNING BOLTS (or Sub Zero and The Plain Zeros (i think only fans of running man will get that one)

—-

VIDEO GAME AWESOMENESS: CASTLEVANIA!

Now don’t expect a lot of specifics because I haven’t played this in 15 years nor did I play any of the sequels but I do remember the name and that you are trying to kill Dracula.  P.S. why is Dracula not in the word spell check database?  I mean if I were Miriam Webster the first word I want to know how to spell is Dracula.  Followed closely by Kazoo.  I have a love hate relationship with Dracula on the one hand I love him. On the other I hate him.

Angry mob that was trying to kill dracula that is now pissed at me for my lack of specifics – “why do you love him”

Answer – His life is incredible.  He lives in a castle.  Super neat.  He is surrounded by undead slave women who only want to please and protect him.  I have to pay a lot of money for that kind of treatment and I usually only get herpes out of the deal.

Same mob slightly less angry – “okay fair enough, why do you hate him”

Answer – That jerk didn’t friend me on facebook.  He was to busy super poking Frankenstein and posting pictures of his camping trip with the Wolf Man.

Mob – “Okay we will go back to trying to kill Dracula, your off the hook….For now…”

Anywhoooo.  The main reason I love Castlevania (again another word that I am shocked is not in spell check), is the balls the main hero has.  I am going to kill bats, monsters, the undead and ultimately Dracula.  Van Pussing brings cross bows and magic bibles … all I need is whip.  Your going to whip Dracula to death? Yep Yeppers.  Aight good luck with that shit.  Can I have your X box when you die immediately. … And you Fight Fish people!

AHHH WHIP IT!

Way to much reading involved with this post sorry.  I promise not much more!  Last reason for loving it, I hope one of my days starts like this.

Dracula you are fucked. That whip is gonna sting like a bitch.

Reading Over.  Listening Beginning.

C ya!

—-

Awesome song of the day #63

Mark Mallman – Do you feel like breaking up?

—–