Archive for Turtles


Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, comedy, Dork, Humor, Nature with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2010 by tsanda

Hey Jellyfish, I like your style.  That is what I would say if I ever met a jellyfish in any other venue than a library.  You need to be quiet in libraries, so yelling, HEY JELLYFISH! I LIKE YOUR STYLE! is gonna get me a quick and swift, kick in the nads, by a jelly fish tentacle.  Which is poisonous so my nads melted.  Little known fact, jellys are avid readers.  Lots of Kurt Vonnegut and Dan Brown.  I am kidding, nobody reads Kurt Vonnegut.  Jellyfish are cool cause they are see through. I like things I can see through and that are poisonous.  They are like, hey swimmer… don’t worry about me… You can’t see me, so it’s okay.  Only sharks suck cause you can see them and their teeth… they have scary teeth.  Since you can’t see me it’s okay… I am harmless.  ZAP! your dead.  Just like that.

Jellyfish, Rave

I am pretty sure that this Jellyfish is tripping so much E. How do I know??? He is clearly at a rave...duh.

I have to stop this post! I have to warn that turtle, that is dumb, to stop what it is doing!  Nobody told that turtle that Jellyfish cannot actually be rubbed on bread and eaten with peanut butter!  They so sour!  Nature is full of shit.  Turtles are too cute to die horrible, acidy tentacle in the face deaths.

Turtle eats jellyfish

Holy crap, Yertle is dumb as shit.

Wait, Bill Nye just called me.

Play Voicemail

“Hey Dude, some turtles can eat some Jellyfish you stupid jackass… are we still on for canasta later, love bill”

Me (jump fist pump) —-why? Turtle is okay, canasta with the masta of science.  My night is set.

dead turtle

I guess Bill Nye was full of shit. He never showed up for Canasta.

Ahhh thanks for reading. I hope yall come back soon now!

Your back? Get a hobby. I don’t know what, dancing?


Awesome Song of The Day #132


if you don’t know either of those groups.  Go learn stuff.