UNCONVENTIONAL HERO AWESOMENESS: THE FERAL KID FROM THE ROAD WARRIOR!

When you have this trying to steal your gas.

Lord Humungous. 3x winner of Mr. Post Apocalyptic Australia. Give me your oil or I will wear less!

You need an unconventional hero.

Me: “hey Kid, Lord Humungous and his gang are going to breakdown our walls and take our gas.  After they beat us in body building and mohawk championships they are going to violate our women and kill our men.”

Rah! Grrrrrrr! Arf Arf Arf

Me:…… “What the fuck did you say.”

Me: “Where the hell did he go?”

Master Blaster: “He went into one of his tunnels, probably trying to get to barter town.”

Gyrocopter Guy: “Shut up Master Blaster, you aren’t even in this movie.”

Me: “Thanks Gryo Guy. Now you shut up too”

Feral Kid:

"raar, rar, ahh ahhh farp zzzrp"

Me: Damn kid, you laugh really weird.  Did I catch a Zzzerp in there?

Kid: (does a backflip)

Me: …….

Lord Humungous: ” I am here for all of your leather and metal clasps”

Guy from Commando:

Wait I am in Commando? Awesome! The breeze up here on this oil rig sure cools my ass less chaps!

=

I'm gonna shoot you between the balls, but after I finish shitting my ass less chaps. I don't wear those in this movie? Weak.

“Lord Humungous, me and my kid or gay lover, depends on what Wikipedia writer is on that day, are going to steal their gas, how about that idea?”

Lord Humungous "Ohh Really? You're in charge? Well now your just tied up". Vernon Wells: "You could at least say something cool like, let off steam or something..."

Me: “Shit we are surrounded”

Gyro Guy: “We need somebody who can slip outside undetected and then throw a boomerang multiple times before hitting something and be really lucky that nobody tries to catch, kill, shoot, trap, murder him…”

Me: “Gryo Guy, shut the fuck up, your teeth are gross… I am trying to think, I can’t think with those grossies in my grille… We need somebody who can slip outside undetected and then throw a boomerang multiple times before hitting something and be really lucky that nobody tries to catch, kill, shoot, trap, murder him…”

Me: “But who is our man”

Feral Boy: “grawlop”

Me: “Can you throw in a backflip for good measure?”

THIS IS MY BACKFLIP FACE!

–

Me: Damn and some fingertips!?!

—

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

FINGERTIPS (see what I did there?)

–

INTERGALACTIC AWESOMENESS: THE SUN!

Soooooo, I was staring at the sun today and went blind which reminded me who was the boss.  The sun, if it wanted, of course it could explode the planet Earth with flame balls and explosions.  Do you know what happens on the sun everyday? Solar Explosions!  The Sun sends out cosmic Hadukens all day ever day!  If you fell onto the sun not only would your face melt off but so would your pants!  Then your balls would get burnt and you’d have no pants! You would be so embarassed trying to hitch hike with aliens back to Earth!

Me - "Hey Sun! Stop exploding Venus! It's just a little guy!" - the Sun "fuck venus"

Well Venus is gone.  Which is fine, Venus always made me think of veiny penises anyways. (i’ll give you some time to let that sink in).  I once heard some guy on the street tell me that the sun not only burns at a trazillion degrees but that it burns at blue when its sad!  Like a mood ring or mood eye patch, which is what Pirates used to wear.

Me - "It's okay sun, I know you miss Venus, but you were the one who melted it with all those explosions." The Sun - "I... know...(sniffles and trembling lower lip)"

I also heard some “scientist” tell me that the sun is actually a smaller sized star and there are countless other stars that are bigger, brighter and hotter.  I said, scientist you’re obviously not a scientist of english, cause if there were more than 1, why is ours called THE SUN, not just, Some Sun In the Midst Of Millions Of Other Suns That May Or May Not Be Bigger Or Better… He said, what are the other stars then… to that I said, no more questions! and then this…

Suck it Scientist!

Then I ran away cause the cops saw me and apparently you can’t kick scientist in the nutz.  Whatever America! I am going to Soviet country.

END!

—–

Awesome song of the Day #55 Goes out to all my Peeps in NYC!

They Might Be Giants – New York City

—–