MILK AWESOMENESS: ROOT BEER MILK?

I stole this photograph from my brother. Apparently this exists and I can’t quite wrap my head around it. Or Rap my head around it. Nothing cool rhymes with Rootbeer Milk. Glutesmear Rilk? Those aren’t even words!

A much better seller than the Old Fashioned Mr. Pibb milk.

I looked this up on the internet and apparently it is real. Apparently back in history people would mix rootbeer and milk. I’m a little unsure still whether or not this is real. Because it’s “old fashioned” not “olde fashionede” adding e’s to the ends of words that don’t neede it makes things seeme oldere and more authentice.

How did this occur? Rootbeer milk. Those two things together sounds like the devil’s poison.

I get carmel eggs and ice cream tacos. Those make perfect sense to me. Wheat grass marshmallows and Jamba Juice nachos? These things I would mix in a heartbeat.

First of all milk is stupid and root beer is like the 8th best soda. I have no idea how this happened. Could I bet behind some milk squirt? Other than the name sounds horribly sexual and 100% unappetizing. I’d try it.

Hell, I’d even go Milk + Crystal Pepsi.

Quite frankly I’d be more psyched for turd water.

I’m going to calm my nerves with a sweet glass of Maple Syrup Ginger Ale. That would probably be the most canadian thing since, Canada.

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

Theophilus London FT. ASAP Rocky

Big Spender

DEAR FUCKING GOD GOOBY IS SCARY!

Apparently World-Fest Film Festival in Houston is entirely populated by members who hate children and terror free nights.  Kids have enough to be scared of without having teddy bears all of a sudden being horrifying.  I mean I am only partially still a kid.

Bill Nye – Partially being a kid doesn’t really make sense Mr.  When you turn 18 you really are an adult.

Mr. (me) – Well by partially I mean I still wet my bed occasionally twice a night.  I like to one night stand ladies.  Instead of a note by the door, it’s a wet mattress.

Bill Nye – I think that just makes you disgusting.

Me – I eat crayons and glue?

Bill Nye – You’re probably going to die soon.  How often do you eat that?

Me – How often is dinner?

Bill Nye ….

Yea, I love shutting that brainiac up.  I kept spelling brainiac, braniac.  Which is also true.  I love me some fucking bran muffins.  COB, a little sexy bowl of Cracklin Oat Bran.  Really gives me boners.

You see that fold by the crotchal and left leg? Not a fold. Me blastin through. If you could see me I am holding up a hand for a high five.... i'll wait.

I bet gooby would wear those pants.

Who the fuck is this gooby character you are talking about.

Satan.

In simple terms.  Satan.

Movie executive: Let us make a wholesome family film.  As a basis we will make a children’s toy comes to life and teach a spunky youngin to live life to the fullest and not be scared of any obstacles.  Even Eugene Levy.

This sounds oddly familiar.  Kids toy.  Coming to life?…

Can’t quite put my fist on it.  I don’t like to point with a finger.  I like to point with my fist.  Much more authority.

Ohhh, that fucking thing...

No no no.  Gooby is wholesome! Gooby is fun.  Gooby is life lessons.  Gooby would never violently rape a kid.

Damnit. Not again Gooby.

Well, thanks Eugene Levy.  You ruined Teddy Bears for me.

Hi Child. Remember how you would let your family dog hump me? Everybody got a great laugh? Spot is humping the stuffed animal.. HAHAHA. Well spot is dead.... and so are you parents.

Why is it that Gooby looks like really hairy fat guys back?

These photos don’t do this fucking monster any justice

at one point that bastard gooby throws timmy’s dead body in some leafs.

Although you got to wonder why is Eugene Levy so intently reading that toilet paper.  Does he not get how to use it?  Is this a new product to him?

He probably uses the three seashells.

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY!

THEOPHILUS LONDON

I Stand Alone

That cleansed my brain. Thanks TL.