Archive for sharks

BUG AWESOMENESS: BUGS THAT ARE AWESOME!

Posted in Animals, Awesome, awesomness, blog, Bugs, Humor, Monsters, Music, Nature, sharks with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2010 by tsanda

That title is incredible… gets right to the point.  Many of my readers are like..Hey…what’s with all of the fancy words you be using all the time.  I tell them I really have no idea I just point to random words in dictionaries and thersuarces (I don’t have time to look up how to spell this word right now… this word gets a 134 on the impossible to spell list, if you can spell it, stop rubbing your computer brain in my face already) and hope I am on to something.  I know a lot of girls are scared of bugs… Why? because they are not what so ever scared of humans.  Take stupid sharks for example.  People always say…”hey it is more scared of you then you are of it….” well not fucking bugs.  They will eat your face and lay eggs in your fucking brain.

Sharks

Shark scared shitless of my biceps

Here is a video for you.  Get your vomit bucket ready cause it’s gross.

Almost as gross as Mcdonald’s Big Mac Burritos… Im not making that shit up. Literally they took some nasty McD’s beef and slid it gently into a tortilla! Why? This looks like something bugs would lay their eggs in. Or something a monster throws up when dying in a movie.

Mac Snack Wrap

That is honestly just a picture of a toilet ... I am pretty sure.

I got off track.  I am sorry.  So bugs.  They are really fucking small and have no big deal with humans.  They are like “whatever, I like your bed, I am gonna get in it and bite you a shit load.  Hopefully you just leave so I can have your house… maybe eat that house if we feel like.” – Bug.

So everybody has seen the borings bugs.  Ants. Weaksauce. Bee’s fucking losers! Puss Caterpillars! Whhhhaaaa!?!?!?! Yep, look like little cats and have poisonous fur.  Yep, bugs with poison fur.  Bears don’t even have that shit.

Puss Caterpillar

Nature are you shitting me? Tiny little poisonous rug?

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Puss Caterpillar Sting

DAMN GIRL! That shit looks like it stings gently.

Not impressed?  What about a horned  Saddle Caterpillar they have a saddle… so other bugs can ride it into the sunset? YUP.  No need for riding lessons either…just don’t fall forward or backwards…Thorns? … Poisonous? … Of Course Silly!

Saddleback Caterpillars

Cowboy Bugs road these back in the old west. Think I saw one in Unforgiven.

And finally. Big Hairy Spiders.  Now I will never hold, touch, look at or not kill one.  Thats just me.  I would do this…AHHHHHH!!! and start crying. Why don’t you hold giant spiders?  Two pictures.  Then I am done. Promise.

Giant Spiders Fangs

Really? Do you not see the Vampire sized fangs? Live life on the edge? Think your cool for the internet?

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Spider Bite

Fucking Idiot.

So.  Today’s lesson tells us one thing.  Don’t eat at Mcdonalds. Unless of course you want diarrhea … then I guess knocked your self out.

Done.

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Awesome Song of the Day # 89

Gossip

Love Long Distance

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DID YOU AWESOMNESS: SHARKS!?!?!?!

Posted in Animals, Awesome, blog, Did you know?, Exclamation Points, Nature, sharks with tags , , , , , , on November 4, 2009 by tsanda

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SANDWICH! DID YOU KNOW SHARKS DON’T HAVE BONES! WOW! BOOM! YOUR MIND IS FUCKING BLOWN SON!

THIS IS A SHARK!

mbn_shark_wideweb__470x321,0

SO IT DOESN'T HAVE A RADIUS! OR AN ULNA! WOWZZAAA!!

I bet sharks really are not that tough? I mean no bones, come on, I could take that thing out with one Scissor and or Jump Kick.

I tried, they are still scary and tough as shit…

Ohhh I’ll get you one of these days sharks…You just watch.

That is plenty

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Awesome Song of The Day #69

Bob Segar – Still the Same

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NATURE AWESOMENESS: SHARKS

Posted in Awesomeness, Humor, Music, Nature with tags , , , , , , , on March 2, 2009 by tsanda

A lot of people said it’s gonna be hard to top Predator on the Awesomeness scale.  I say Bahhh… there is no need to top Predator just violently match it up with a real predator.  So we scoured the planet and the deep blue abysses of the ocean to find our topic.  Yep, Sharks.  So hip they got their own week on TV and so badass they inspire fear in the entire planet.

 

I will eat your fucking face

I will eat your fucking face

 

Sharks are so awesome that they have not needed to evolve in 65 million years.  They were swimming around eating fucking dinosaurs back in the day, now they laugh at humans trying to surf and occasionally decide to take a limb to remind us all they are still around and still in charge.  Sharks don’t stop swimming… ever … not even to sleep or have a tea party… nothing. The Mako shark has been found to swim upwards of 60 mph!… El Caminos can’t even drive that fast.  A human you ask…ha! You would be lucky to do 2-5mph.  Jumping…sharks can jump out of the water… don’t believe me…they do it all the time.  You still don’t believe me?

 

= Awesome

= Awesome

Told you.  He was probably just going to get a flying fish or seal…sharks get so bored eating things in the ocean that they have to jump out of it occasionally for a meal!  Thats like you or me going to space for a taco!  If you are having any issues seeing how cool sharks are, feast your eyes on this.

 

RUN!

RUN!

 I don’t claim to be a zoologist or a marine biologist but I am pretty sure that is a real picture… and if it’s not… it is real in my dreams… and that is good enough for me.  Lets have a recap.  Been around for ages, are the pinnacle of evolution, made the dinosaurs extinct and they constantly grow new teeth!  HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE TEETH THING.  You get punched in the face, tooth comes out…your screwed.  Shark bites your leg off and loses a tooth in it… whatever… he’s got 3 more rows of teeth he is waiting to lose in your other leg.  

Now you ask can humans compare at all… and the good news is Yes… but only if you have the balls this guy owns.  

 

This Guy Is Cooler Than All Of Us

This Guy Is Cooler Than All Of Us

Consensus… Sharks are awesome!

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Awesome Song of the Day #1 – 

Enjoy.

T’s & A out!