Archive for Santa

HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS: CHRISTMAS!

Posted in Awesome, blog, Children, Holidays, Humor, Music with tags , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2009 by tsanda

Christmas traditions, virgin births and bums that give you stuff.  What a holiday this Xmas is.  So baby Jesus, no he isn’t from south of the border.  Was put into Mary by an angel.  Or thats what mary told Joe, her ole man,  I think that angel was horny for some human lovin.  Angels always say once you go human you never go back.

baby jesus

PSSSTTT... Joseph he looks nothing like you....notice the wings and halo?

So Christmas started as the celebration of Jesus birth.  Okay religious holiday makes sense.  Then the rest of us went…Hey! Jerk faces I want presents too!  So we cut down a tree and dressed an old dude in red and gave him some deer to ride to your chimney.  Honestly a strange old man comes down your chimney and eats your food and then gives you presents.  He also knows what you’ve been doing.  Those are actually called stalkers and they usually don’t get to hang out with kids…

Santa

Hey Kids! Go sit on the fat stangers lap! Tell him what you want and he's gonna laugh and hug you!

Next your gonna tell me that Dead Jesus is gonna get honored with a rabbit.

Out

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Awesome Song of the Day #82

Dungeon Family – Trans DF Express

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DID YOU KNOW AWESOMENESS: SANTA CLAUS!

Posted in Actors, Awesome, Children, Did you know?, Exclamation Points, Holidays, Humor with tags , , , , , on December 10, 2009 by tsanda

DID YOU KNOW SANTA IS NOT REAL?!?!?!?!?!?

santa

You tell anybody I'm not real and I'm gonna fucking kill you!

I WENT TO THE FOOTHILLS FASHION MALL AND SAT ON SANTAS LAP TONIGHT.  I WANTED A SUPER SOAKER OOZENATOR! A PONY AND A MY LITTLE PONY!  I GET UP THERE AND SANTA DIDN’T KNOW IF I WAS NAUGHTY OR NICE!  AND HIS F’ING BEARD FELL OFF!! WHAHHHHH! I CRIED FOR HOURS AND PUNCHED 4 MIDGET ELFS HELPING SANTA!  THEY TURNED OUT TO BE KIDS!   SANTA ISN’T REAL! F-U HOLLYWOOD AND MOM YOU TOLD ME HE WAS REAL!.

NEXT YOU WILL TELL ME THE EASTER BUNNY ISNT…..REAL…..NO!!!!!!

Done

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #79

DEAD MAN’S BONES

Little back story – Ryan Gosling the actor, who kicks ass by the way, is in a band with a childhood buddy, and they used a children’s choir for backup vocals.  It is awesome.  Also see this movies! Half Nelson.

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