Archive for rap

FISHING AWESOMENESS: NOODLING!

Posted in Animals, Humor, Nature with tags , , , , , , on November 30, 2009 by tsanda

I fucking love catfish.  I want nothing more than to only eat catfish.  They eat mud and humans.  They have giant whiskers and somehow are not related to cats… I am almost 143% sure that they are from space or hell.  I think they scream when you look at them.  So what do I do? I stick my arms down their mouths.  In an attempt to catch them? Huh?

 

Noodling for catfish

Catfish are smarter then hillbillies. Catfish are actually catching humans with noodling.

I first heard about noodling where all good humans hear about stupid shit that shouldn’t exist but does, the internet.  Apparently, hill billies don’t believe in fishing poles, dynamite, laser guns or hypnotization,which is the only way to hunt in my book.  So they take their clothes off, because you don’t want to dirty your coveralls in a muddy crick. You lay on your stomach and crawl on your hands until you stick your arm in a giant catfishes mouth.  Then the battle starts.  Because people actually die doing this shit.  These things can weigh up to 300 pounds.  Huh, bad idea when you get that one.

 

Noodling

Gus playing river fort with uncle billy? nope Gus fishing...with uncle billy / or waiting for city boy canoeurs to happen by..ewww

Sooo the next time you go bear hunting … do this

1. find a cave, make sure osama bin laden is not in there he won’t bite your arm

2. crawl on the ground

3. put it in a bears mouth

4. see heaven finally!

see ya!

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Awesome song of the Day# 76

The Living Legends – Nothing Less

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NATURE AWESOMENESS: SHARKS

Posted in Awesomeness, Humor, Music, Nature with tags , , , , , , , on March 2, 2009 by tsanda

A lot of people said it’s gonna be hard to top Predator on the Awesomeness scale.  I say Bahhh… there is no need to top Predator just violently match it up with a real predator.  So we scoured the planet and the deep blue abysses of the ocean to find our topic.  Yep, Sharks.  So hip they got their own week on TV and so badass they inspire fear in the entire planet.

 

I will eat your fucking face

I will eat your fucking face

 

Sharks are so awesome that they have not needed to evolve in 65 million years.  They were swimming around eating fucking dinosaurs back in the day, now they laugh at humans trying to surf and occasionally decide to take a limb to remind us all they are still around and still in charge.  Sharks don’t stop swimming… ever … not even to sleep or have a tea party… nothing. The Mako shark has been found to swim upwards of 60 mph!… El Caminos can’t even drive that fast.  A human you ask…ha! You would be lucky to do 2-5mph.  Jumping…sharks can jump out of the water… don’t believe me…they do it all the time.  You still don’t believe me?

 

= Awesome

= Awesome

Told you.  He was probably just going to get a flying fish or seal…sharks get so bored eating things in the ocean that they have to jump out of it occasionally for a meal!  Thats like you or me going to space for a taco!  If you are having any issues seeing how cool sharks are, feast your eyes on this.

 

RUN!

RUN!

 I don’t claim to be a zoologist or a marine biologist but I am pretty sure that is a real picture… and if it’s not… it is real in my dreams… and that is good enough for me.  Lets have a recap.  Been around for ages, are the pinnacle of evolution, made the dinosaurs extinct and they constantly grow new teeth!  HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE TEETH THING.  You get punched in the face, tooth comes out…your screwed.  Shark bites your leg off and loses a tooth in it… whatever… he’s got 3 more rows of teeth he is waiting to lose in your other leg.  

Now you ask can humans compare at all… and the good news is Yes… but only if you have the balls this guy owns.  

 

This Guy Is Cooler Than All Of Us

This Guy Is Cooler Than All Of Us

Consensus… Sharks are awesome!

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Awesome Song of the Day #1 – 

Enjoy.

T’s & A out!