Archive for Otters


Posted in Animals, Awesome, awesome song of the day, blog, comedy, Dork, Food, Humor, Music with tags , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2011 by tsanda

Otter Pops are about 5 cents a piece.  Which is fucking crazy because I have been killing people for years for otter pops.  I didn’t realize I could afford them. Color me embarrassed and a serial killer.  When I was a kid I was a cereal killer but I found that eating real people was way more satisfying than eating Capt. Crunch.  Much more paleo to eat human flesh.

Note * Mom, I am not a cannibal…

Note * My mom doesn’t read this…

Note * I am a cannibal…

Summer is hot.  That sun is an asshole.  … You need a frozen treat to keep those core temperatures down when playing with your micro machines in the sand box or starting ants on fire…Double Dutch on the asphalt is a one way ticket to heat stroke mister!  Wait a minute my mom does read this! Yeah! Thanks mom!.  I will put on sun tan lotions I promise.

When you eat regular popsicles there are so many pit falls you can get into.  Breaking off too big a piece into your mouth, then your tongue and cheeks get way to cold as you try to deal with this situation.  It drips on your fingers and then they are way sticky.  You have to put up with worse jokes on the stick then even I come up with… If you’re roughhousing you are going to stab your eyes out with that weapon if you’re not careful.

Missing Eye

Tragic Popsicle Tragedy, I but he wishes he would have bought otter pops! All he wants is an Otter Pop to soothe his soul and gapping face wound.

Otter Pops are superior to all other frozen treats in nearly every way.  Mainly because they come in packs of one thousand and fifty-five.  You need an entire empty freezer to keep all of the otter pops at bay.  But usually only need 1 day to eat them all.  Not to mention all the wacky flavors! Cherry! Whoa! Grape!!! GRAPE!!! HOLY FUCK GRAPE!!!

Sea Otters

Otters choking down seaweed when the Otter Pops ran out.

The moral of the story is that Otters are cute.  Losing an eye is real shitty and I can finally stop killing people.  Today was a good day.

You know what sucks more than no Otter Pops?  Standing outside of a broken phone booth with money in your hand.

Awesome Song of The Day #159

Primitive Radio Gods

Standing Outside…fuck it I’m not writing that all out again.

Shit quality, but what are ya gonna do its vevo.