ANIMAL AWESOMENESS: FLYING SQUIRRELS!

Dear The United States of Awesome,

I apologize for being selfish and a dick.  I took a weekend off to turn the unhip age of 26, I immediately lost control of my bowels and bladder and have to wear depends now.  My eyes fell out and I have to ride on a rascal to get around.  Boy does old age hit fast and hard.

Ahhh me in my old age...boy am I happy on my rascal...just fishing....if I catch a big fish does it just pull me and the rascal into the ocean?

NAHHH! I am exaggerating a bit.  I got a cold and didn’t feel like passing my cold through the interweb to you.  So really I did you a favor.  Your welcome.

So I am back after the week.  The internet was a lot less sweet while I was gone.  I went searching around for what was happening in my absence, nothing.  Some president of something won some award for talking, some old dude threw some 6 point passes to other younger guys and apparently afghanastan is still a country….who knew?

But to the task at hand.  This.

Boom Pow Surprise Flying Squirrel Up In Huuurrrrr....Sorry my St. Louis spell check is on...Here is what i meant...damn you chingy.

Really, a mammal with wings! Next your going to tell me there are mammals that can swim! HA! Or Mammals that can lay eggs.  I am hoping nature speeds up evolution and I can grow wings all ready, jumping off the roof is getting painfully annoying.  I haven’t reached the moon yet either!   Soon though, if Kev Cos can grow gills and webbing my wings are just around the corner.  Keeping my webbed toes crossed.

So prey walks by a tree, probably an elephant or unicorn, stops for a bite of the tree and this thing jumps on its back, pulls out its spine and eats all of its bone marrow.  What a fucking sweet killing machine flying squirrels are.

Same thing goes for your living room so watch your fucking skull son, they will eat your brains.

Crap! Don't eat my new rascal!

Wow I am spent.  Sickness saps my life-force…or that was the 3 bottles of robatusin I drank.  Not sure but i feeeeeeeellllllll tiiiiiiirrreedd………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………..

FYI I’M ASLEEP! KEEP IT DOWN IN HERE!

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #59

WIZ KHALIFA – SAY YEAH!!!!!!!

SOOOO GOOD!!! and nothing says rap and mainly like making it ran on a group of Mariachis….they do work hard for the money.

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FOOD AWESOMENESS: MUFFINS!

I bet your eating a muffin right now.  

Probably one of dem otis spunkmayers…dems shittsss is ballin.  

Funny that some baker was like I love the shape of mushrooms but I am sick of seeing purple monsters and melting faces, and guess what?! I also love cake. Solution = Shape – psychedelia – manure (shit) + cake + love = This Picture?

I think this one is minus the manure....I sure hope so....yea i'd eat it anyways. Doo Doo!

Barack Obama should institute a universal muffin proposal..I’d vote for that a million times.  I think thats how voting works right?  Like NBA allstar game… which will be sweet when Yao Ming has been retired for 14 years but China still votes him number 1 in the voting.  Odd usually don’t get into Yao Ming tangents.  Guess I’ve got tall Asians on the mind.  BACK TO FUCKING MUFFINS!

Not like back to fucking muffins like having sex with one….but…wait…that doesn’t actually sound horrible.  Actually sounds oddly deliciously sexy.

Back to my Universal Muffin proposal

Question: Can I have a Muffin while taking a shower?

Obama: Yes and I will bring it to you.

Question: Can I have blueberry.

Obama: Yes

Question: Can I have one crush my car?

Obama:???????? Sure

 

New Proposal - Muffins for Clunkers. Where can I get that muffin and who is selling my whip?

You thought, can this dude really talk about muffins for this long.  Yes.

I mean have you had a muffin you didn’t like? Of course not, thats like saying I saw an old person fall over on America’s Funniest Home Videos and did not laugh.

WARNING THE VIDEO THAT FOLLOWS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. 

Increadible

Muffins!

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Awesome Song of The Day # 44

John Parr – St. Elmo’s Fire

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If you scrolled all the way down here you are a sucka! But a very dediated reader and for that I give you another video.

CATS!

Trust me it is awesome

wow I am easily Entertained.