COMMENTS AWESOMENESS: SPAM!

I am the kinda guy who doesn’t really care where comments come from.  You comment on my stuff and you’re my hero.  Did you ever know? Comments equal digital hand jobs.  Maybe that is because when I read the comments I am usually touching myself, in front of a mirror, naked. Well, not entirely naked, I usually have a belt around my neck, that counts as clothing I am pretty sure.  You know you get caught at your local elementary school hanging in their bathroom from a belt and all of a sudden you have to introduce yourself to all of your neighbors.  Which was nice, I was meaning to introduce myself to them anyways.  I get a few comments.  Random stragglers, OMA … that is about it.  The bulk of my comments come from what WordPress calls ‘spam’.  Really WP, Sex-dating.com’s comment of “i love your sites big information, thanks for read” can’t be a real comment?

What about Xsixioucioriu’s comment of “xjlkajoieurlkajkjfioulalirkljeaijlakd”  I don’t speak bellarussian.  That could totally say.  “You should have my babies.”    On a side note.  Xsixioucioriu, i would love to have your babies, but I am not Arnold so it might not work.  We will figure out a way to be together forever, Xsixioucioriu.  I love you.

Free internet pills found the information on my site very educational and looked forward to more fun facts.  I mean if you read this site that is a completely realistic response to what I write about.  Education and fun facts! I am Mr. Fun Facts!.  That’s actually my pet name for my penis.  Hey, Mr. Fun Facts stop helicoptering all the time!

So I say.  WP, let me be the judge of what is and what is not a spam message.  I say, commenter, Mom.  Who says.  “You have problems and are not allowed back for Christmas dinner you jerk.” Is 100% spam from some stupid spam machine trying to sell ham’s.

But, Organic Digeridoo’s, who claim to be my favorite fan ever can post whenever they like.

yeah!

Yay!

Whoohoo!

Who wants to listen to some tunes!

I know Xsixioucioriu does!

AWESOME MUSIC OF THE DAY #160

NEON INDIAN

POLISH GIRL

and dance!

SEE THROUGH SEA MONSTER AWESOMENESS: JELLYFISH!

Hey Jellyfish, I like your style.  That is what I would say if I ever met a jellyfish in any other venue than a library.  You need to be quiet in libraries, so yelling, HEY JELLYFISH! I LIKE YOUR STYLE! is gonna get me a quick and swift, kick in the nads, by a jelly fish tentacle.  Which is poisonous so my nads melted.  Little known fact, jellys are avid readers.  Lots of Kurt Vonnegut and Dan Brown.  I am kidding, nobody reads Kurt Vonnegut.  Jellyfish are cool cause they are see through. I like things I can see through and that are poisonous.  They are like, hey swimmer… don’t worry about me… You can’t see me, so it’s okay.  Only sharks suck cause you can see them and their teeth… they have scary teeth.  Since you can’t see me it’s okay… I am harmless.  ZAP! your dead.  Just like that.

I am pretty sure that this Jellyfish is tripping so much E. How do I know??? He is clearly at a rave...duh.

I have to stop this post! I have to warn that turtle, that is dumb, to stop what it is doing!  Nobody told that turtle that Jellyfish cannot actually be rubbed on bread and eaten with peanut butter!  They so sour!  Nature is full of shit.  Turtles are too cute to die horrible, acidy tentacle in the face deaths.

Holy crap, Yertle is dumb as shit.

Wait, Bill Nye just called me.

Play Voicemail

“Hey Dude, some turtles can eat some Jellyfish you stupid jackass… are we still on for canasta later, love bill”

Me (jump fist pump) —-why? Turtle is okay, canasta with the masta of science.  My night is set.

I guess Bill Nye was full of shit. He never showed up for Canasta.

Ahhh thanks for reading. I hope yall come back soon now!

Your back? Get a hobby. I don’t know what, dancing?

—-

Awesome Song of The Day #132

NEON INDIAN / REMIX BY BRAHMS

if you don’t know either of those groups.  Go learn stuff.