Archive for Movies

MENTAL ILLNESS AWESOMENESS: SPACE DEMENTIA!

Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Dork, Humor with tags , , , , , on August 8, 2010 by tsanda

Going crazy sounds pretty tough.  Nobody believes anything you are saying.  You can get put in a big padded room and you have to wear your own poo on your face because you just rubbed it all over your face because the chewbacca in the corner won’t stop making fun of you and you thought that would show him.  Well it did, it showed him you were fucking crazy.

That being said.  If I were/are/thinking about going crazy I would totally choose space dementia.  I learned about it from a documentary I was watching today about a bunch of actors who with the help of Michael Bay saved us from an asteroid that was actually really close to destroying earth.  They said it was a global killer and they got it right before it was to late.  RIP Harry Stamper.  But apparently one of the crew members couldn’t handle the pressure of blowing up the astroid and the openness of space and lack of gravity made him loose his mind!  He started shooting a gatling gun that NASA just had sitting around, yea I would have thought they used bazookas but I guess not.  Thats why I am not in NASA.  That and my Space Dementia.

The wide eyes, the open mouth, raised eyebrows. Classic Space Dementia

I just feel bad for the guy who had to sit next to “rockhound” on the trip back home.  People with space dementia talk about the weirdest shit.  All Butter tacos and banana hats from that crazy jabber box.  Rockhound… even his nick name has space dementia!

I highly recommend that documentary I think it was called Deep Impact.

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY # 127

MILES BENJAMIN ANTHONY ROBINSON

THE SOUND

His second song of the day!!!

SEE YA SOON FOR MORE GROUND BRAKING CRAP!

FULL OF SHIT AWESOMENESS: MY FAVORITE MARTIAN!

Posted in Aliens, Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Humor, Movies, Space with tags , , , , , , , on April 7, 2010 by tsanda

I was perusing the wide selection of movies Free On Demand (comcast better pay me for that plug, cheap bastards).  Ran across something called “My Favorite Martian”.  Sounded fucking great.  I love martians and my favorite one! check and done.  I was ready for 7 hours of heads exploding and baby aliens popping out of chest on far and way distance universes.  I start watching and to my utter dismay and horror this movie was in fact not about Predator.  Rather this crap.

Christopher Lloyd

Predator would own this guy. Fuck, Marvin the Martian would own Doc Brown.

Don’t get me wrong, Doc Brown was cool as a Doc Brown in Back to The Future, sure. But Teen Wolf made those movies we all know that.

Here is my list for Martians that would have been much better for this movie.  Keep Jeff Daniels because he is the man and add any one of these.

Predator

Creepaziod (best movie poster ever?)

Alien

Aliens

Alien 3

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg

Pizza The Hut

ID4 Aliens

The Rancor

Mac from Mac and Me ( anything that is a blatant low budget rip off of ET I like)

The Night of The Creep Creeps / The Slither things

Space Jam

Three Boobied Total Recall Girl

The giant baby at the end of 2001

and Ewoks

So hollywood, stop with the false advertising.  Next time Jeff Daniels is hanging out with a Martian it better have 3 tits or be made of pizza.

I’m hungry.

Awesome Song of the Day #114

Live

Lighting Crashes

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WEAPON AWESOMENESS: SLEEVE WEAPONS!

Posted in Actors, Awesome, awesomness, blog, Humor, Stuff, Weapons with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2010 by tsanda

Shirt sleeves are so useless most of the time.  I mean all of my shirts are sleeveless, gym shirts, work shirts, wedding shirts, funeral shirts, sleeping, eating, swimming pool shirts.  I just can’t see a good reason to cover these pythons.  Until yesterday.  I got in to a knife fight with some guy.  He had nothing.  Just stupid fists and a shit long sleeved dumb ass shirt. I laughed for about 35 seconds in his face with my pocket knife waving in his face.  Then he smiled and “swhhoooommmmmp” (onimonipea) and giant swords came flying out of his shirts! HE WASN’T EVEN WOLVERINE!  I lost, it goes without saying.  So, I am laying in the hospital this morning, licking my wounds and thinking, how did he do that?  … Then like a ray of light from the Dawn….Those fucking sleeves are good for something.  Hiding Weapons, and I love my weapons.

Hell Boy

That's what I get for picking a fight with the guy from Hell Boy.

So i’ve healed, fast healer, like a cat.  I strapped a couple swords under my shirt.  Got ready to pick a fight.  This time, I went to a Mexican Cantina. Lovely little joint.  Mariachi music playing in the background, I take a Sol and sat and waited for somebody, who A) would fight me, then B) I could win.  So this punk ass little pretty boy walks in and steps on my toe.

Direct Quote From Me – “hey? what the heck!”

Him – “some word in spanish”

Me – “……”

Him – “Lo Siento”

Me – “Ohhh well fuck you too”. Swords pop out, commence laughing.

Him – “sccchhhhwwippp ( more noises that sound like their spelled ) GUNS? WHAT THE FUCK!

Desperado

Maybe I have misjudged this pretty guitar playing man. Crap x2.

I gotta stop fighting guys from movies already.  I saw Clubber Lang and ran the other way.  He didn’t have sleeves but I guarantee he has a laser cannon hidden in his mohawk.

What do I do? Here is what I did tonight, after my bullet wounds healed.  Yea wound-s plural.  Jerk shot my 6 times.

I went to Burma, smuggled a tiger out of the country, strapped a Mini Gun on it’s head and stuck it in my pant leg.  Who wants a piece? You Antonio Banderas? Didn’t think so.

Bring it.

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Awesome Song of The Day #101

Annie Lennox

Walking On Broken Glass

(Guest starring John Malkavich)

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