Archive for Motorama

MARS ROVER AWESOMENESS: ALIEN WW3!

Posted in Aliens, Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, Bill Nye, Monsters, Science, Space with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2012 by tsanda

I am really damn excited for the Mars Rover.  You bet your ass I am topical as hell! Current events, son!

 

Mars Rover

That Rover has Space Dementia!

Nobody talks about the 80 trillion dollar Robocop we put on Mars to take this photograph.

We, yes we, the North Americans minus Polar Bears and Canada dropped a fucking RC Racer onto the Mars and are currently exploring the shit out of it.  Finding monsters and aliens and Spocks all damn day.

Bill Nye: Nearly none of that is true. Ass.

Me: Hey! Bill. Shut up.  Well after you tell me which part I am right about….

Bill Nye: Polar Bears and Canada didn’t help.

Me: Duh. Polar Bears are dumb as hell and Canada is poor. USA! USA! USA!

Bill Nye: Jeez. No Monsters or Aliens or singular Spock either. It just rolls around at 2″ per second and cores the soil and takes measurements.

Me: Ugh. Boring. 2″ a second?  It would take that hoss all of 6 seconds to measure my….

Bill: Gross.

Me: You cut me off.  Dick.

Bill: Yea, we got that.

Me: USA USA USA!

Bill: ….

Don’t worry.  Mr. Nye left.  Sometimes he can’t handle talking science with me.  Like when I beat NAS in rap battles. Which are usually about Bill Nye wearing tie dye while drinking a mai tai.

NAS: …… ( silence just like the end of 8 Mile )

I like explaining written jokes.  Means they are good.

The only really cool thing that is going to come from the Mars Rover is now Aliens on other planets can see we are getting pretty cool over here on Earth and it is time to blow us up.  Which I mean is really all anybody can ask for in this life.

MUSIC!

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

MOTORAMA

GHOST (Acoustic)

Easily my current favorite band.  Mind blowing.

Have a lovely Thanksgiving next year.  Like to get it out of the way early.

Bye!

CANDY AWESOMENESS: MINI ROLOS!

Posted in Candy with tags , , , , , , , , on November 10, 2012 by tsanda

I am notorious for being easy to please.  Con Air is on again? Well, so much for my daughter’s birthday.  Well, honestly I actually got her the Con Air blue ray for her birthday.  Which is basically the best birthday ever, I’d say.  She disagreed and wanted sour patch kids, or cabbage patch kids or something like that… So welcome to adoption little miss bossy pants!

That last group of sentences is actually why I will never be allowed to offspring with somebody.

So I was at K-mart buying new headphones and trying not to get stabbed or talked to by anybody.  I decided lunch was going to be (yes, you have read this right, somehow my lunch was originating from K-mart) candy.  Sometimes a lunch of candy is just what no doctor anywhere ordered.  I like the riddles skittles.  I like how skittles make my jaw hurt.  No pain no gain! That’s what my cat always says.  I have no idea what the riddles part is though.

Whoa, what do I see?  Mini fucking Rolos! Kablamo! (or insert your own sound of excitement)  Although it is odd.  Shooting off shotguns inside a K-Mart is actually legal and appropriate behavior.

Rolo Mini

You had me at lunch at K-Mart.

Finally.  The three things I have always been missing in my life.  Not knowing the actual size of a candy I was about to buy.  Don’t you hate when you accidently buy 3′ wide Werthers and the duffle bag they came in didn’t notify you of this? 2. I didn’t number 1, I hope this makes sense.  They show with a picture that their claim to contain chocolate and carmel is not fully bullshit.  I need visual proof.  I might believe in Jesus on faith, but not fucking hidden carmel.  Final thought. They are unwrapped! Although I feel bad for the indian children who lost their jobs wrapping Rolo’s.  I always thought it was fucking nonsense that I had to open this candy and then unwrap more candy.  I’m looking right at you Starbursts.  I’m not into physical activity or puzzles.  How do you open this tiny little candy origami? WHAT! I have to do it 8 more times! Ugh uncontrollable vomiting.

Just when I think I have lost all faith in American ingenuity the Rolo Corporation brings it back to a very modest level.  USA!

Who wants musics!

Awesome Song of the Day #something

Motorama

Alps

Yeah! I’m back! I haven’t done this since May? What is wrong with me.

Well I ate candy lunch from K-Mart.  Alot.

Until the next time.