SHIT TALKING AWESOMENESS: LEBRON JAMES EDITION!

People have awesome ways of saying they are going to kick peoples asses.  I like the old stand by.  Hey, Buddy. I’ll punch you in the throat with my fists. You can also use. Yo Guy. Stop touching my Mazda Protege or I will drive it into your house. Bill Nye “the Science Guy” doesn’t use violent words.  He just throws beakers of molten acid on your grille piece and laughs.  He then drives away in a car with grass on it, because he is one bad ass environmentalist.

Another Classic Nye Post Acid Attack Face. Zany Guy.

What the hell is going on on that TV behind Nye.

Bill Nye. “Bondage hot dog eating…”

Me “….” “ahhhHHHHH, AHHH!!!!’ “ACID!”

Bill Nye. “What have I said about looking at me”

Me “AHHHHH! ACID”

Bill Nye – Post Acid Face (refer to above photograph)

Would Bill Nye’s rap name be Ill Nye?

Lebron James apparently is from 1924 and has the best fighting lingo I have heard in ages.

I read the first 4 sentences of this article and knew I didn’t have to read any more.  That would be a waste of time.  I also knew that it was from yahoo news so nobody else is going to read it to check my shit.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/lebron-threatened-kick-heckler-butt-gotta-problem-tough-153104602.html

That is the article if you are so inclined.

However this is all you needed.

“LeBron James told a heckling fan that he wanted to kick his tail all over the beltway, and if anyone has a problem with LeBron saying as much to that fan they can just take their heckles somewhere else”

I know this is a paraphrase.  But I only want to imagine this is how the whole thing went down.  Beltway? What the fuck is that.  The only people who can say things like, “I want to kick his tail” Are people like me who are very nasally and have to push their glasses up on their face as they say it.  Also, if you don’t like the heckling you can just take your heckles elsewhere? This solves nothing.  Pacifism never entertained me.  So I close my eyes and picture old basketball shooter McChinStrap (that lebron) kicking tails across beltways.  Only to get hit by Bill Nye’s Mazda Protege.

–

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

OBERHOFER

I CAN GO

Currently Pole Position for My favorite song of February 13, 2012.  Keep up the good work. Only two hours to keep that spot! Fuck I just told people what time zone I am in.  Here come the barrage of fan hand jobs.

Basketball Awesomeness: Lebron James

If you don’t by now you will never know.  When it is all said and done Lebron James will be remembered as the best basketball player ever.  Haters start becoming agitated that anybody would say that.  Well, fuck off…how about that?  Being massive Denver Nugget supporters it only pains us slightly to say “Lebron James is the Best”.  Melo is the man but only top #10.  Dwayne Wade can carry a game at any time but he doesn’t carry every game.  Kobe is Kobe, he is dirty (in the baller way… well … and the dirty elbow people in the throat way too).  But nobody can guard, stop or even slow down Lebron James.  He doesn’t miss shots because he took a bad shot; he only lets the other team have a little chance to stay in the game.  If you haven’t watched the playoffs then you have missing his incredible acumen (yeaaaaa nice word son!) for playing basketball.  At least 10 times a game, repeat… at least 10 a game, he does something that you must tivo and watch at least one more time.  

 

The rest of the teams are playing in his league.

Here is a sample of what a normal day looks like for Lebron James.  

6 am – Wake up

7 am – Make 300 three pointers in a row

7:15 am – Hunt a deer.

8:00 am – Cook said deer and make some eggs with a glass of milk.  Sometimes Orange Juice.

9:00 am – Run to practice which is 27 miles away.

9:15 – Get to practice / Stretch.

10:00 am – Make 300 more three pointers.

10:15 am – Walk on Water 

11:00 am – Nap time.

12:00 – Lunch Time – A sandwich.

1:00 pm – Build an entire house for Habitat for Humanity

2:00 pm – Attend a Peace Conference in the Mid East and broker a peace deal between Isreal and Palastine

3:00 pm – Read to blind children while making 300 more three pointers, this time they are underhand.

4:00 pm – Get ready for the game

5:00 pm – Break dance for awhile

6:00 pm – Score 35 Rebound 15 and Assist 9 (off night)

10:00 pm – Run Home

10:15 pm – Paint a portrait of his mother saving a bus from a group of bears. (yea, I actually want that painting also)

11:00 sleep

—

And that was just monday.

For those who truthfully don’t know – Enjoy this.

Lebron’s best moments of 09′

MVP at 24…Nuff Said.

 

Please don’t go to the Knicks…PLEASE!

———

Awesome Song of the Day # 33

Wale – Artistic Integrity (yep more Wale…cause he is the truth)

—