NAMES AWESOMENESS: NAMES NICHOLAS CAGE HAS USED IN MOVIES!

You may want to put on an adult diaper before you start reading this list.  About 100% guaranteed to make you either piss, shit or cream your pants.  Either way you will need some fresh leggings.

Balthazar Blake

Damon Macready

Benjamin Franklin Gates

Joe

Fu Manchu

Johnny Blaze

Yuri Orlov

Acid Yellow

Captain Antonio Corelli

Memphis Raines

Rick Santoro

Seth

Castor Troy

Sean Archer

Cameron Poe

Dr. Stanley Goodspeed

Little Junior Brown

Sailor Ripley

H.I McDunnough

Al Columbato

Fucking Seriously? There are people out there who don’t fucking like Nick Cage? Those names are National Treasures.  Pun totally intended, (bull whip noise) I have no idea how Caster Troy isn’t the number one baby name, boys and girls, every year running.  I nicknamed my dangus Dr. Stanley Goodspeed.  I like to tell girls that it’s more of a chemical superfreak.

The Homeless Sorcerer. Magnificent bastard pulls it off.

Dear Mom, Dear Dad.  Why is my name not Memphis Raines! Or Karl Malone! I would take either! Maybe somebody in my city counsel will read this and just do me a solid and change my name to Memphis Karl Malone Raines II JR Dr. Goodspeed Bees.

There really isn’t even anymore that is needed.  Just look at that list.  If Delroy Lindo was here talking about his best darn friend in the world, he would just simply say,”A brothers love, is a brothers love.”  That’s exactly how I feel about Nick Cage names.

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

RICHARD MARX

RIGHT HERE WAITING

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SPACE AWESOMENESS: SOLAR ECLIPSES!

I was talking to Karl Malone about space today, it is our Tuesday tradition.  A little tea some peppermint patties and a lot of space talk. Topics of discussion were as follows.

1) space – why it is awesome a power point presentation by Karl Malone

2) space – a look into its soul – an interpretive dance by gloria estifon

3) space – the diarama by: some 4th grade class.  I don’t know any 4th graders but I have a van and a lot of candy.  Done and Done.

The moon gets sick of the sun always talking shit and making plants grow and peoples skin tan.  The moon just make shit scary looking and thats when monsters come out.  So sometimes the moon says. “hey! look her sun, stop being a jerk and jocking my style.  It’s time for a little space magic.  Time for you to disappear! Human magicians just make planes and tigers and wallets disappear, pussies.  Except for David Blain he would make the sun disappear and then reappear in a coke bottle at the bottom of the ocean which was just shit out by a dolphin.

No people I am serious the sun disappears! Bill Nye can confirm.  Bill do you confirm – Yes. BOOM POW SURPRISE!

I bet the moon has some agreement with vampires....

Space magic. Yep I made that up.  No you can’t use it.

OUT!

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Awesome Song of The Day #81

Neil Diamond – Girl You Will Be A Women Soon

God

Enjoy it over and over and over. And Yes I will be a women soon.

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