Archive for jokes and shit

DEAR FUCKING GOD GOOBY IS SCARY!

Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, Bill Nye, blog, Children, comedy, Dork, Humor, Toys, What the Fuck? with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2012 by tsanda

Apparently World-Fest Film Festival in Houston is entirely populated by members who hate children and terror free nights.  Kids have enough to be scared of without having teddy bears all of a sudden being horrifying.  I mean I am only partially still a kid.

Bill Nye – Partially being a kid doesn’t really make sense Mr.  When you turn 18 you really are an adult.

Mr. (me) – Well by partially I mean I still wet my bed occasionally twice a night.  I like to one night stand ladies.  Instead of a note by the door, it’s a wet mattress.

Bill Nye – I think that just makes you disgusting.

Me – I eat crayons and glue?

Bill Nye – You’re probably going to die soon.  How often do you eat that?

Me – How often is dinner?

Bill Nye ….

Yea, I love shutting that brainiac up.  I kept spelling brainiac, braniac.  Which is also true.  I love me some fucking bran muffins.  COB, a little sexy bowl of Cracklin Oat Bran.  Really gives me boners.

Jeans with built in underwear

You see that fold by the crotchal and left leg? Not a fold. Me blastin through. If you could see me I am holding up a hand for a high five.... i'll wait.

I bet gooby would wear those pants.

Who the fuck is this gooby character you are talking about.

Satan.

In simple terms.  Satan.

Movie executive: Let us make a wholesome family film.  As a basis we will make a children’s toy comes to life and teach a spunky youngin to live life to the fullest and not be scared of any obstacles.  Even Eugene Levy.

This sounds oddly familiar.  Kids toy.  Coming to life?…

Can’t quite put my fist on it.  I don’t like to point with a finger.  I like to point with my fist.  Much more authority.

Child's Play, Chucky

Ohhh, that fucking thing...

No no no.  Gooby is wholesome! Gooby is fun.  Gooby is life lessons.  Gooby would never violently rape a kid.

Gooby

Damnit. Not again Gooby.

Well, thanks Eugene Levy.  You ruined Teddy Bears for me.

Gooby

Hi Child. Remember how you would let your family dog hump me? Everybody got a great laugh? Spot is humping the stuffed animal.. HAHAHA. Well spot is dead.... and so are you parents.

Why is it that Gooby looks like really hairy fat guys back?

These photos don’t do this fucking monster any justice

at one point that bastard gooby throws timmy’s dead body in some leafs.

Although you got to wonder why is Eugene Levy so intently reading that toilet paper.  Does he not get how to use it?  Is this a new product to him?

He probably uses the three seashells.

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY!

THEOPHILUS LONDON

I Stand Alone

That cleansed my brain. Thanks TL.