So I saw a video that is making the rounds on the world wide web. It involves the youngest member of MENSA, which I always thought stood for the Men Space Association. Which was great cause we don’t want coodies in space. We have enough problems to worry about with giant solar flares that are going to cause 2012. I saw that movie. We are fucked. I am still trying to find John Cusack so he can wisk me to safety. No Amanda Peet though. That lady is annoying. So this kid is a badass. A certified genius by the age of 3. Loves donuts and just yells I have to poop when its time to bathroom.
Here watch this.
That kid is a spitting image of me. Not when I was a kid… Right now. That kid and I could hang out. At work I keep getting dirty looks because after my morning coffee I just yell.
“Ohhh boy I have to doo doo”
Until somebody brings me a bucket or I doo doo my sweatpants. Yeah, I am allowed to wear sweatpants to my office. I don’t get fired because I think they think I am mentally handicapped.
First thing that kid does while at the Today Show. Eat a bakers dozen. Who cares about meeting Al Roker. Those fucking donuts have frosting and sprinkles!
What about that kids horrible parents. Their kid is screaming I have to shit my fucking pants on national television and what do they do. Tell her to shut the fuck up and stop ruining their moment for making such a smart baby. At one point the dad like a smug piece of shit says. “I’m sorry about this” What! You’re sorry that your just passed being a baby child has to crap and she isn’t being more polite about it???? I wish that kid would have just dropped trow and shit all over her dads feet. Then flipped him off and yelled I’m out. That’s what I would do. Probably why I wasn’t invited back to the today show for my amazing lowest IQ score ever. I posted it on my fridge. That interviewer is a cunt too. That is a harsh word. I know my mom told me not to use it unless I am talking about draculas. But that skank face couldn’t roll with the punches either. Ohh your tummy hurts. Well stop ruining my bit! I don’t want to go back to ring girl at the holiday inn cage fights. I wish a car came through that building and took out that kids parents and the interviewer. That car would be driven by Steven Hawkings mind. He would bring her to MENSA head quarters and she could eat all the donuts her heart desires and then cure cancer. That kid rules.
I want a bakers two dozen. That’s 43 donuts. Hey, I didn’t make up the math.
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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY
ROMAN CANDLE
THEY SAY
I wish I could sing and not make windows break and heads explode. It is my greatest power and my greatest downfall. Ohh sweet justice.
THE A IS FOR AWESOME 