HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS: CHRISTMAS!

Christmas traditions, virgin births and bums that give you stuff.  What a holiday this Xmas is.  So baby Jesus, no he isn’t from south of the border.  Was put into Mary by an angel.  Or thats what mary told Joe, her ole man,  I think that angel was horny for some human lovin.  Angels always say once you go human you never go back.

PSSSTTT... Joseph he looks nothing like you....notice the wings and halo?

So Christmas started as the celebration of Jesus birth.  Okay religious holiday makes sense.  Then the rest of us went…Hey! Jerk faces I want presents too!  So we cut down a tree and dressed an old dude in red and gave him some deer to ride to your chimney.  Honestly a strange old man comes down your chimney and eats your food and then gives you presents.  He also knows what you’ve been doing.  Those are actually called stalkers and they usually don’t get to hang out with kids…

Hey Kids! Go sit on the fat stangers lap! Tell him what you want and he's gonna laugh and hug you!

Next your gonna tell me that Dead Jesus is gonna get honored with a rabbit.

Out

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Awesome Song of the Day #82

Dungeon Family – Trans DF Express

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HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS: THANKSGIVING!

Thanksgiving.  Turkey’s get food stuffed up their butt and then get cooked… I didn’t make that up, we actually do that.

 

"hey science, find a way to put food up this birds ass... why don't you just use your hand? by god science your good"

 

 

At christmas we don’t shove mashed potatoes up a ducks ass, however that sounds wonderful.  How did we come to this putting food up other foods poopers and how can we do more of it.  I think mac and cheese up a cows ass would probably be like the 2nd coming of jesus.  Hey, religious types thats not blasphemous! Jesus has the blue box blues.

The story of thanksgiving white people sucked at trying to survive and native americans were really good at making turkeys and cranberry sauce.  The pilgrims introduced the natives to the detroit lions and some inflatable things in the air and the rest was history.

Things I am thankful for:

Explosions, godzilla, Marisa miller, space and hover shoes.  Although not invented yet, I am working away with Bill Nye to get those real.

Enjoy your turkey, I know sesame street will :

 

What the hell is cookie monster going to eat?

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Don’t forget to give thanks for me.  I am giving thanks for you right now!  More after the holiday!

stuffed!

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Awesome Song of The Day #74

LIVE – SELLING THE DRAMA

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