FOOD AWESOMENESS: MAC AND CHEESE!

When I get hungry I usually call subway and ask them to deliver me some mac and cheese.  There is usually a pause, I can hear them say, that asshole is calling about mac and cheese again…then they hang up on me.

Have you ever filled your bath tub with Mac and Cheese? It is wonderful. And delicious.

After they don’t make me mac and cheese and deliver to me and spoon feed it to me,  I just go to taco bell and drown my tears in a CGC (Cheesy Gordita Crunch, duh) Maybe wash down that sorrow with some Wild Cherry Pepsi.  Wild Cherry? As apposed to tamed? Do they have a Cherry whisperer?  If so

Dear Taco Bell,

Give me that Job,

Love, Me

XOXOXO

P.S. Can you put a Taco Bell franchise in my bathroom? 2 reasons, 1) I don’t have to leave my house to get diarrhea and then I am already in my bathroom.  Win Win Win, except for the guy who then has to work in my bathroom…or girl I would be equal opportunity employer.

I am not sure how or why or who discovered Mac and Cheese, I heard it was Christopher Columbus but others have told me it was Einstein, doesn’t matter whoever it was should win some sort of award.  Peabody or Golden Globe would suffice.  It is so cheesy and warm and filling and just makes me feel loved.  I just lay in bed and get whipped by a dominatrix and she throws mac and cheese in my face…just a normal saturday night at my house.  Kids know what is up when it comes to food.  If something is good enough that all kids like it, it is probably pretty freeeeeeaaaaakin neat, and kids are usually shit heads about everything.

 

No wonder kids like it! Mascots, kids are so dumb.

 

 

The only downside to constantly eating mac and cheese? … the orange solid material that is in all my veins where my blood is supposed to be is kinda weird.  But I digress it’s fucking awesome.

Im Full

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Awesome Song of The Day #72

BONOBO – TERRAPIN

No Video But So Worth It

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FOOD AWESOMENESS: MUFFINS!

I bet your eating a muffin right now.  

Probably one of dem otis spunkmayers…dems shittsss is ballin.  

Funny that some baker was like I love the shape of mushrooms but I am sick of seeing purple monsters and melting faces, and guess what?! I also love cake. Solution = Shape – psychedelia – manure (shit) + cake + love = This Picture?

I think this one is minus the manure....I sure hope so....yea i'd eat it anyways. Doo Doo!

Barack Obama should institute a universal muffin proposal..I’d vote for that a million times.  I think thats how voting works right?  Like NBA allstar game… which will be sweet when Yao Ming has been retired for 14 years but China still votes him number 1 in the voting.  Odd usually don’t get into Yao Ming tangents.  Guess I’ve got tall Asians on the mind.  BACK TO FUCKING MUFFINS!

Not like back to fucking muffins like having sex with one….but…wait…that doesn’t actually sound horrible.  Actually sounds oddly deliciously sexy.

Back to my Universal Muffin proposal

Question: Can I have a Muffin while taking a shower?

Obama: Yes and I will bring it to you.

Question: Can I have blueberry.

Obama: Yes

Question: Can I have one crush my car?

Obama:???????? Sure

 

New Proposal - Muffins for Clunkers. Where can I get that muffin and who is selling my whip?

You thought, can this dude really talk about muffins for this long.  Yes.

I mean have you had a muffin you didn’t like? Of course not, thats like saying I saw an old person fall over on America’s Funniest Home Videos and did not laugh.

WARNING THE VIDEO THAT FOLLOWS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. 

Increadible

Muffins!

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Awesome Song of The Day # 44

John Parr – St. Elmo’s Fire

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If you scrolled all the way down here you are a sucka! But a very dediated reader and for that I give you another video.

CATS!

Trust me it is awesome

wow I am easily Entertained.

FOOD AWESOMENESS: KETCHUP!

What is the best thing on the planet to eat on other stuff? Let this list of ingredients help you; tomato concentrate, corn syrup (or other surgar),vinegar, salt, spice and herb extracts (including celery), spice and garlic powder.  Now, I don’t know about the celery, sounds like wikipedia is full of shit on that one.  But the rest of those things all mix together and form a taste sensation / explosion / volcano / supernova / apocalypse of red semi thick topping, dip or condiment. 

 

Forget the NBA playoffs, ketchup is where amazing happens.

Now if your like me you probably just tried to rub some french fries on the screen. Sorry about that.  Now Ketchup, most people think hotdogs and burgers and you would be very very right.  But guess what Breakfast was made for ketchup.  Hashbrowns, eggs and sausage all dream about ketchup at night and I oblige them every morning with the proper burial they deserve….a ketchup burial.  Note to world, when I die, cremate me, put me in a bottle of Ketchup, then put me in a cannon and shoot me over the grand canyon.  No real reason why the grand canyon just sounded pretty damn epic.  I want a ketchup phone. 

 

Yea you thought I made that shit up!

All this ketchup talk is making me hungry.  You need to see the movie Cobra starring Sly Stallone, the girl he is protecting drowns her fries in Ketchup.  Perfect.

I am going to open some ketchup packets directly into my mouth and probably just take a bath in some.

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Awesome Song of The Day # 37

Aesop Rock – “None Shall Pass”

Artwork by Jeremy Fish who is incredible.

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