Archive for Dirty Whistles


Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Humor, Technology with tags , , , , , on June 2, 2010 by tsanda

Holy shit mom. You no longer need to haul around that giant vacuum anymore just to make me happy and make the floor clean as a whistle. Which is an odd statement.  Clean as a whistle…. the only good way to whistle cause if you happen to know what a dirty whistle is, yes it involves blowing air into somebody’s asshole. No you didn’t ask for the answer to that question but I enlightened you anyways. Now that my ass hole as been sufficiently blown into and so has your minds.  We can get back to the task at hand! Forget I Robot, forget Short Circuit forget some other insightful and interesting statement about robots.  They now clean floors.  The world can now end.

Floor Cleaning Robot

Technology so fucking practical.

I always thought that robots would be made to fight wars and space things. That in the future I would have a robot butler but he would still have to lug around that old Bissell ( my personal favorite name for a company, say it, Bissell, BIISSSSEELLLLL, just fun)

Nope instead technology has peaked. So I can fire my stupid robot butler and hire a robot vacuum and I am good to go. Which is also odd to say cause I really don’t go any where.  That vacuum better hope i don’t stick my dick in it, what?! who the hell said that! That is gross! I will need a robot vacuum cleaning robot to clean your man part left overs out of my vacuum.

What would be great is that My Eligh. He’s the lady of house (which if you know him such a true statement) he hates vacuums, he is a big baby and is scared of nearly everything. So if I got a robot vacuum there is a good chance they would fight. Talk about MMA. Forgot Wraslin v Boxing….Dog v Robot.  I’d sell so many tix and be rich and invent a robot toaster that walks up stairs and shoot toast at my face when I sleep to wake me up.  !!!! WHOA!!!! Mind blown. It would double, for free, as a alarm clock. SOLD! TO MYSELF FOR FREE! CAUSE I OWN IT!

Those vacuums sure look like they want to eat that baby...or the TV, robots probably eat electronics... Or babies, RUN BABY THAT VACUUM IS GONNA EAT YOU! OR CLEAN UP QUIETLY AFTER YOU LEAVE CRUMBS!

Next time you want to blow somebody’s mind.  No, not a dirty whistle. Tell somebody “Well you know what they say” and then just walk away.  So great. I do it to my mom all the time. Her head has exploded roughly once, cause thats all that a head can handle, duh.

DIRTY WHISTLES!  I learned that tonight and it makes me laugh. Who is blowing into other peoples assholes? I am wondering … really.  hit me up.  We can Cyber Dirty Whistle.


Awesome song of the Day # 118