Archive for Bugs

BUG AWESOMENESS: PRAYING MANTISESESES!

Posted in awesomness, blog, Bugs, Dork, Humor with tags , , , , , , on March 22, 2010 by tsanda

The eseses is for many.  Extra plural.  I am a pretty big fan of bugs.  Lots of cool ones.  They can lay eggs in your back.  They can fly, they can be ladies and they can eat your face off after make babies.  WHOOOAAOOO! The death after baby making makes me cringe a bit but the face eating part is neat.  I wish more animals ate faces it is such an under utilized death method.  Poison this, claws that, eat when already dead.  So many animals are lame.  Yeah I am talking at you Vultures.

Vultures

Nature Pic: Kids this Picture is of Vultures sucking. Ohh you kill that? Nope? Hope you get food poisoning.

Don’t believe me that praying mantisie, singular silly, eat faces after the thing they do in private? Called sexual cannibalism, just learned that on wiki.  Luckily for me there is nothing called Masturbation Cannibalism, bad news on many fronts.  Well just the dead me part and least I went out how I came into this world….. I’m gonna give you a second cause that paragraph is incredible, filled with jokes and stuff …I loved it.

Hmmmm changing subjects now.

Praying Mantis in fact don’t pray, they are in fact atheists.  They watched the Bill Maher movie and swore off god for good.

More facts: Praying Mantis”””ssss are actually terrible boxers.  I am 7,988,988 – 1 in my bouts with 1 NC, jerk threw sand in my eyes.  Then I went to my knees and rubbed my eyes and yelled for dramatic effect.  Like…..

AHHH MY EYES! DAMN YOU EVIL MANTIS, I WILL SAY IT BUT I WON'T LIKE IT.......KUMATA!!!!!

For a post about Bugs I sure don’t have a lot of pictures of them. It is because they are disgusting and eat weird shit.  What ever happened to bugs liking rotten fruit or dead animals? What the crap is this?

Praying Mantis

Ewwww. Bugs. I bet I will win in our boxing matchup later.

AHHH SHIT! THERE WAS A LAST MINUTE MANTIS REPLACEMENT DAMNIT!

Humans only predators: 1) Predators, 2) Giant Praying Mantis'zz'zs. Just stay away from him when he is horny.

Dear lord that word is hard to pluralize.

Im done with this!

Time to fight some bugs.

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Awesome Song of the Day # 112

MAGIC MAN

NEST

only 45 view getting you in on the ground floor. Your fucking welcome.

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BUG AWESOMENESS: BUGS THAT ARE AWESOME!

Posted in Animals, Awesome, awesomness, blog, Bugs, Humor, Monsters, Music, Nature, sharks with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2010 by tsanda

That title is incredible… gets right to the point.  Many of my readers are like..Hey…what’s with all of the fancy words you be using all the time.  I tell them I really have no idea I just point to random words in dictionaries and thersuarces (I don’t have time to look up how to spell this word right now… this word gets a 134 on the impossible to spell list, if you can spell it, stop rubbing your computer brain in my face already) and hope I am on to something.  I know a lot of girls are scared of bugs… Why? because they are not what so ever scared of humans.  Take stupid sharks for example.  People always say…”hey it is more scared of you then you are of it….” well not fucking bugs.  They will eat your face and lay eggs in your fucking brain.

Sharks

Shark scared shitless of my biceps

Here is a video for you.  Get your vomit bucket ready cause it’s gross.

Almost as gross as Mcdonald’s Big Mac Burritos… Im not making that shit up. Literally they took some nasty McD’s beef and slid it gently into a tortilla! Why? This looks like something bugs would lay their eggs in. Or something a monster throws up when dying in a movie.

Mac Snack Wrap

That is honestly just a picture of a toilet ... I am pretty sure.

I got off track.  I am sorry.  So bugs.  They are really fucking small and have no big deal with humans.  They are like “whatever, I like your bed, I am gonna get in it and bite you a shit load.  Hopefully you just leave so I can have your house… maybe eat that house if we feel like.” – Bug.

So everybody has seen the borings bugs.  Ants. Weaksauce. Bee’s fucking losers! Puss Caterpillars! Whhhhaaaa!?!?!?! Yep, look like little cats and have poisonous fur.  Yep, bugs with poison fur.  Bears don’t even have that shit.

Puss Caterpillar

Nature are you shitting me? Tiny little poisonous rug?

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Puss Caterpillar Sting

DAMN GIRL! That shit looks like it stings gently.

Not impressed?  What about a horned  Saddle Caterpillar they have a saddle… so other bugs can ride it into the sunset? YUP.  No need for riding lessons either…just don’t fall forward or backwards…Thorns? … Poisonous? … Of Course Silly!

Saddleback Caterpillars

Cowboy Bugs road these back in the old west. Think I saw one in Unforgiven.

And finally. Big Hairy Spiders.  Now I will never hold, touch, look at or not kill one.  Thats just me.  I would do this…AHHHHHH!!! and start crying. Why don’t you hold giant spiders?  Two pictures.  Then I am done. Promise.

Giant Spiders Fangs

Really? Do you not see the Vampire sized fangs? Live life on the edge? Think your cool for the internet?

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Spider Bite

Fucking Idiot.

So.  Today’s lesson tells us one thing.  Don’t eat at Mcdonalds. Unless of course you want diarrhea … then I guess knocked your self out.

Done.

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Awesome Song of the Day # 89

Gossip

Love Long Distance

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