PRIME MINISTER AWESOMENESS: VLADIMIR PUTIN!

My grandfather once said that Russians were no better than animals which was confusing to me because animals are awesome.  Duckbilled Platypus or Flying Squirrels? No more words needed about that.  The extent of my knowledge of Russians is what I have learned from James Bond and they are usually trying to take over the world.  I disagree, if they are anything like their Prime Minister, old Vlad Putin, they are just trying to enjoy the finer things in life.

When I have a rough day at work what is the first thing I want to do when I get home?  Bubble Bath? That is second.  Double Dutch competition with the Jensen sisters down the street? That is saturday morning stuff.  Shirtless Horseback riding? Ding Ding Ding.

He is probably going off to hand to hand combat a Russian Bear. Then wear its skin home.

That is awesome.  Obama ever done anything this cool?  Not likely.  Somebody would probably complain about skin cancer or animal abuse.  Putin knows the secret to a good leader is a fantastic tan.

After he rides the horse to the edge of death what does he do? He lets his steed drink water while he takes a gentle dip to recharge his engines and cool his weary bones.

Relax? I meant to say Butterfly Stroke, a perfect one at that, across a lake that is probably 5 miles long.

All this shirtless horseback and olympic quality swimming has got him hungry.  He chops down a tree and makes a fishing pole.

Actually he is now fishing for whales off the coast of Siberia.

After he eats his whale.  He needs to let off a little aggression.  Some silly American was caught spying on him.  Instead of chopping off his head or drowning him in a kiddy pool during his sons sweet 16.  Judo throw!

Please go tell Obama to stop spying on me and if he wants to shirtless hang glide I am going next weekend over Chechnya.

Whoa that is a long day.  I need to win the World Cup for mother russia.  But we can only play in suits. Because not only are we obviously superior to all other countries in all ways, but we need to look dashing at the same time.

Fuck you Ronaldo. This is how you make soccer look good.

Somebody should teach these Russians that if they bunch like that they are going to get killed on the counter attack.  ohhh the KGB will just shoot the other team?  That works too.

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

BUCK 65 – PAPER AIRPLANE

Long Live Creative Music

MUSIC AWESOMENESS: BIKE FOR THREE!

I felt like today is a very lazy sunday.  Surfing the net for a picture of a monkey riding a giraffe sounded like a lot of work today.  I am in a coffee drinking music listening mood and to answer you question, yes I still looked for that picture and could not find one.  This was the best I could muster.  And by me I mean google images and by muster I do mean mustard the yellow condiment that is incredible on hotdogs.

Ehhh ehhh! Pretty sweet, but once you want a giraffe nothing else really satisfies

So, Bike For Three.  Consists of Buck 65, a canadian indie rapper, and Greetings from Tuskan, a belgium ambient producer.  I had previously never heard of Greetings from Tuskan but her music is awesome and his voice is perfect for this music.  The result is one of my favorite albums in a minute.  No mom, not a literal minute, minute is slang for a long time.  Mom, I know a minute is short but thats the point, its slang.  I know you don’t get it mom thats okay go back to your bridge game.  Yes I would like corn bread with dinner.  Thanks mom.

Here are some songs and links.

http://www.myspace.com/bikeforthree

Rumor has it that Bike for Three! have never met each other.  She sends him the music and he writes and records lyrics and she mixes it.  Pretty cool huh?  I have never met John Stamos but I feel like we would be a good team.  I’m gonna send him some music.

Clocking out.

AWESOMENESS UPDATE: SNICKERS!

Few nights ago I felt like I should get some gas for my automobile so I went to a corner store to pick some up.  I went inside to also find some fuel for my body and I felt like an ice cream sandwich. Actually the only reason I went to the store was to get an ice cream sandwich, don’t judge me.  Wow this post is exciting.  Okay, but down to brass tacks (weird saying) what did I discover? New Snickers invention, well new to me and the packaging is yelling the word new right at me so thats more than good enough for me.  It is the Snickers Brownie Ice Cream Sandwich.  Holy bologna it was incredible.  Other than the terrible sugar stomach ache it gave me I wanted to go buy two more and eat one and rub the other on my face. 

 

Cherish every bite, you will tear up when its over... Trust me I know from heart-wrenching experience

Sucks to be my teeth now…sorry guys! At least I can replace you with fake replicas.  Nice.  Probably go the wooden route, makes a lot of sense. Ughhh can your wooden dentures get overrun with termites? That would be gross.

Is fake replica redundant?  Whatever …. I am not a scientist. 

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Great Link

Phillies Cat –

http://withleather.uproxx.com/?attachment_id=17520

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Awesome song of the day #30! (Number 30 big day…need something great)

Buck 65 – “Roses and Blue Jays”

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