UNCONVENTIONAL HERO AWESOMENESS: THE FERAL KID FROM THE ROAD WARRIOR!

When you have this trying to steal your gas.

Lord Humungous. 3x winner of Mr. Post Apocalyptic Australia. Give me your oil or I will wear less!

You need an unconventional hero.

Me: “hey Kid, Lord Humungous and his gang are going to breakdown our walls and take our gas.  After they beat us in body building and mohawk championships they are going to violate our women and kill our men.”

Rah! Grrrrrrr! Arf Arf Arf

Me:…… “What the fuck did you say.”

Me: “Where the hell did he go?”

Master Blaster: “He went into one of his tunnels, probably trying to get to barter town.”

Gyrocopter Guy: “Shut up Master Blaster, you aren’t even in this movie.”

Me: “Thanks Gryo Guy. Now you shut up too”

Feral Kid:

"raar, rar, ahh ahhh farp zzzrp"

Me: Damn kid, you laugh really weird.  Did I catch a Zzzerp in there?

Kid: (does a backflip)

Me: …….

Lord Humungous: ” I am here for all of your leather and metal clasps”

Guy from Commando:

Wait I am in Commando? Awesome! The breeze up here on this oil rig sure cools my ass less chaps!

=

I'm gonna shoot you between the balls, but after I finish shitting my ass less chaps. I don't wear those in this movie? Weak.

“Lord Humungous, me and my kid or gay lover, depends on what Wikipedia writer is on that day, are going to steal their gas, how about that idea?”

Lord Humungous "Ohh Really? You're in charge? Well now your just tied up". Vernon Wells: "You could at least say something cool like, let off steam or something..."

Me: “Shit we are surrounded”

Gyro Guy: “We need somebody who can slip outside undetected and then throw a boomerang multiple times before hitting something and be really lucky that nobody tries to catch, kill, shoot, trap, murder him…”

Me: “Gryo Guy, shut the fuck up, your teeth are gross… I am trying to think, I can’t think with those grossies in my grille… We need somebody who can slip outside undetected and then throw a boomerang multiple times before hitting something and be really lucky that nobody tries to catch, kill, shoot, trap, murder him…”

Me: “But who is our man”

Feral Boy: “grawlop”

Me: “Can you throw in a backflip for good measure?”

THIS IS MY BACKFLIP FACE!

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Me: Damn and some fingertips!?!

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

FINGERTIPS (see what I did there?)

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WEAPON AWESOMENESS: BOOMERANGS!

Sorry to disappoint  all of you internet surfers who were looking for a commentary on the 80’s movie starring Eddie Murphy!  I’ve sadly never seen it, as it doesn’t fit my criteria for wanting to watch movies… Predators.  Ohhhh yea I am not shameless at all … link to my own genius…what now Oprah!  My only goal in life is to get Oprah as a regular reader.

Boomerangs seem  so practical … I can’t figure out why people who use spears don’t use boomerangs

Guy : Here throw this spear at that antelope / or ant eater which ever you prefer

Other Guy : I prefer the ant eater… and I hate spears if I miss what happens?

Guy : UHHHHHHHH (STUPID LOOK ON HIS FACE)

Other Guy: Yea thought so… unnecessary walking.  I need a weapon that comes back to me when I miss, and then when our culture becomes obsolete we can sell them to American tourists who will then throw them once and give up because its hard and then put it in a closet some where…

I mean look who uses them! Only the best and brightest

This kid, with just a boomerang, saves Australia from a bunch of gay dudes driving dune buggies...

I figure we incorporate this same technology into other weapons.  If my uzi doesn’t kill all the crips I am trying to explode then i want all those bullets back for another drive by.  Bullets come back…slide into the barrel and back into the clip… ready for drive by #2.  I am gonna win the Nobel Violence Award for that invention.  Just you watch.

I just think boomerangs need a new spokesperson to get the word out there that boomerangs are all the rage with teenagers and such.  Like this guy…I bet he loves teenage boys!

Now put that picture in Maxim....cha ching... 4 billion boomerangs sold. Done

Im done talking for the day… I hope you are done learning for the day.

Note : Don’t throw boomerangs at the sun.  They will start on fire.  And you will lose your toy.  FU SUN!

outs

Awesome Song of the Day #61

Ladyhawke – Magic

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