Everybody knows the famous Texas slogan. Don’t mess with Texas. Great fodder for T-shirts and the back of underwear. You know like a pun about shitting your undies. Which apparently is an epidemic in Texas. It must be the water or general disregard for bathrooms and hygiene. But I have to be honest this slogan has nothing on Washington States slogan. I am up here working for my work, doing work. I was driving on the just lovely I-5 going either north or south. This is a wonderful little stretch of Americana. Tree’s and beavers frolic like butterflies at dusk. Yes that tree’s should be possessive. The 2nd one was just a fucking stupid mistake. But I haven’t figured out backspace yet or language.
Apparently, Tom Cruise is going to be in a musical? I wonder if he will make Tom Cruise running face. I have attached the most amazing video. Not only does this guy get the humor of Tom Cruise running, but he makes an awesome video and chooses the best song of all times.
Sorry, I got side tracked by the TV playing at the Africa Club in the Sea-Tac airport. Which is a confused place here in white peopleville. Although to be fair they have a dish that gives you AIDs for authentic Africa flavor. I wonder what flavor AID’s has. Probably a lot like diarrhea mixed with nutmeg.
So Washington is a beautiful state, not like my home state, where we just through garbage out our windows cause, well fuck it. That’s our litter slogan. It is widely successful. Just huge billboards with a half eaten cheeseburger and crumpled PBR tall boy, next to calligraphy of “Well, fuck it.” How do they get it done here? Passive aggressive threats? No, they are very obvious.
I mean it’s scary because bigfoot lives in Washington. If I throw my danish wrapper on the ground does bigfoot run out and punch me in the sternum? I don’t know. So I tested the theory. I live life on the edge of disaster. That’s my motto. I have shirts and everything. My mom got another one for mothers day and she threw it away and disowned me.
I ate some gum and threw the wrapper on the ground. A seagull at that moment then shit from the skies into my mouth.
I was like what the hell man? You said it would hurt not be disgusting! Then I got hit by a twin engine prop plane. Damnit Washington. You are good.
AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY
Lets Hear it for the Boy
when I searched for this song, the SEATAC Airport free wifi made me re-agree to the terms and conditions. I of course didn’t read them but I really hope that listening to this song on their network is against their terms and conditions. If I get arrested I will hunger strike for this song.