SCIENCE AWESOMENESS: THE TREE LOBSTER!

I can’t really say I’ve ever cared much for lobsters. I don’t get the fuss over their taste and it just seems weird that we boil them alive for better taste.  I don’t think any of the 11,746 chickens I’ve consumed in my life were ever boiled alive.  It supposedly locks in their soul which makes a great internal gravy. I am getting screwed!

So how do you get my attention? Ohh, the Tree Lobster.  You read that right.  Unless you are illiterate; and then you read that as lkajdkljiljrkldsjlfiaejlasdkfn. What prey-tell is a Tree Lobster? It is only a gigantic dude of a bug that was sick of turning extinct by humans so it hid on a tiny rock cliff island.  But that stupid son of a bitch didn’t realize we humans will search for a lifetime and not stop at anything to extinct everything.  USA! USA! USA!

Action shot of a scientist killing Tree Lobsters the only way science knows of. Fist punching the Thorax.

Science tells us that Tree Lobsters need to be capitalized because they are proper nouns. The More You Know, dum deeedle dum dooo (or however you write that jingle in words).  To bad NBC wasn’t trying to teach people the proper image for a floating rainbow star; and they say rap music corrupts minds.

The best part of the Tree Lobster? Where they live.  Balls Pyramid Island.

Balls. That is all.

I don’t think i’ve been more giddy about information in my life.  Giant bugs that live on Balls Island and it is the coolest looking island of all time. To bad we are going to extinct those bugs and put a Wal-Mart out there.  But ocean pirates need great deals on Bissels too.  Bissels just work great. The suction is wonderful and they come in just jazzy colors.

I would scream like a boiled alive lobster if I saw one of those things. Giant bugs should stay where they belong.  Balls island.

Woot Woot!

Awesome Song of the Day

Big Boi Ft. Kid Cudi

She Hates Me

“If you can hate on anybody, girl, I am glad it was me.”

Big Boi has been doing this for 20 years and it is pitiful how underrated he is.  Outkast for life.

 

 

BURNING YOUR INITIALS INTO SOMETHING AWESOMENESS: BRANDING!

I gotta say I am pretty big fan of branding.  Taking something and instead of just putting it in your garage for safe keeping, burning a symbol in it’s ass to show other people that it is yours.  We do this with cows a lot.  And by we I mean me. I have 37 cows in my backyard with NBDS branded on the side of their ass.  NBDS did I give away my initials? Nope. Don’t want you crazies stalking me, unless you own operation.  Cause I have honestly never played operation and I wouldn’t be mad if you broke into my house and were waiting for me naked in my bed room with operation and 50 candles.

NBDS is my brand. I put it on everything that is mine.  Like this banana.

NBDS, Copywrite...the future? You bet your ass. 1.21 jiggawatts!

That is an awesomeness original.  You don’t believe me? Look it has my brand.  I like to brand bananas.  I have a lot of monkeys that live in the trees by my house.  Denver is a huge primate city, fyi.  You didn’t know that? Watch some discovery channel why don’t ya. I don’t want these monkeys stealing my bananas.  I also branded my dog Smmmeeeelllliiighhhh Samsanov, the monkeys would also try to eat him.  Or ride him which I am 100% okay with.

I didn’t use my initials. DAJ. cause thats just boring.  Dagwood Alberto Jasper. I mean who am I? A comic book character? Hispanic? A hick? All.

So to lower confusion and put my life values out there.  NBDS.  No Big Deal Son. Anytime anything happens, NBDS.  Cause it really is no big deal, (unless it’s this blog than of course it’s a huge deal) and Son. Cause calling people son it just the polite thing to do.  Wu Tang taught me that.

WHAT THE FUCK! I TAKE A FEW MINUTS TO ENTERTAIN AND THOSE GOD DAMN MONKEYS!

What the hell! That was my favorite nana!

FRANKIE NOT YOU TOO!

Ahhh! I can't be mad at you tiny adorable monkey. You can have Jake. (that's the name of that banana)

I am out of bananas.  But have some full and fat monkeys.  Looks like I will be eating monkey tonight!

DONE SON

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Awesome Song of the Day #134

Big Boi

Hustle Blood

(not the best quality but song is just sooooo smooth)

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SATURDAY NIGHT MUSICAL ORGY!!!!!!

It is Saturday night, Point Break is on TV.  I have downloaded  a bunch of new music and had a Mrs. Fields cookie ice cream sandwich.  Life is pretty freakin amazing sometimes. I figured I’d massage your ear drums with the sweet sound of good music.  I also thought about doing a naked helicopter in my culdesac but figured I’d get arrested.

Song #1

The Pass – Treatment of the Sun

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Song #2

Big Boi Ft. Gucci Mane

Shine Blockers

Beat is smooth like my ass, vocals are clean like my record, collabo tight like my ass also???? I am not as good at that as rappers … Actually… I like em.  In your face rappers

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Song #3

All Summer – Converse (Cudi, Best Coast, guy from Vampire Weekend)

just a great song, if this doesn’t make you tap your toes.  Well listen to something else that does.

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Song #4

Electric Tickle Machine

FUN

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Song #5

Delta Mirror

He was worse than the needle he gave you

I figure that will be good for you.  Enjoy. Can I also recommend a Mrs Fields Cookie Ice Cream sandwich? Do your self a favor and get one of them.  If you do yourself a favor do you owe you one? When are you ever even?  You better clean your brains off the wall that I just exploded with my deepness.