The Devil Is A Puss Bag These Days…

Ohhh that Devil.  Always trying to mess with our minds and tempt us to eat chocolate and covet they neighbors Wednesday night orgies.  It is tough, cause boy howdy do those things get loud.  I think last time I heard a Phoenix burn and rise from its ashes during one of those….

…. It sounds unfortunately a lot like a lawnmower starting.  Life – the constant disappointment.

 

“Vrrrrmmm Vrrrmm Vrrrmmmvrmmmvrmmmm”

I had an “an” in front of Phoenix for a second and there were little squiggles under it.  I clicked it and it’s only recommendation was to stop being a fucking moron.  God damnit word.  You’re a jerk!

Remember when the Devil was awesome and people were scared of him.  He would produce Faces of Death and make kids listen to Black Sabbath and Led Zepplin?  He made teenagers touch privates and put real oil in Mcdonald’s french fries. But here it comes to my attention that the kid from Two and a Half Men says to stop watching that show because the Devil wants you to tune in.  To mush your brain.  First of all, I assumed that kid was property of Warner Brothers so I am shocked he is allowed to go outside and converse with people.  Secondly, why the sam hell does the Devil want people watching that show? If that show mushes your brain you will have no motivation to go out and worship the Devil.  That shit takes work.  You have to drawn pentagrams and sacrifice goats and shit.  Nobody who watches Two and Half men is motivated for all of that work.

I mean if the Devil wants to support a medium of the media…. that doesn’t sound like a thing…. he should totally get behind my stuff.  This will mush the shit out of your brain.  Plus I hate goats! Always eating my cans.

For all the stereotypes about goats eating cans all the time I couldn’t find a single JPEG, yep. Gettin Technical.  Keep up internet.  So I found the closest alternative and it works pretty well.

Gimmie dem boobies!

That is what I always say to girls.  Usually looks a lot like this too. Although I can’t grow a goatee.  Whoa. Finally just got that. I am welcome.

Now the Devil wants us to watch Jon Cryer sitcoms? If you peruse any of the awesome Illuminati blogs you will find that all the Devil worshipping artists these days are sucky pussies.  Like Lady Gaga and Beyonce and Taylor Swift. What the crap happened!  The Devil really must have got some screws loose when Arnold whooped his ass in End of Days.  I don’t like any of those jokers, I must be doing Gods work!

Ohh well lets listen to music that the Devil doesn’t like….because it is good….

Awesome Song of the Day

Pete and the Pirates

“The marks on your back and the lines on your face…. one thousand pictures”

Best Lyric Ever.

Well, after I have so much money my money count money… but that is a given.

note to self. I may have used this song before.  No chance in hell I fact check that though.

 

 

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CAMPAIGN POSTERS!

It amazes me when people don’t have nice things to say about Arnold Schwarzenegger.  They say “that a-hole ruined California”.  Not true dick heads. He taught us a awesome way to say California that sounds like Cauliflower. Side note.  Cauliflower does not go over well for Valentines Day.  That girls loving flowers thing is a bunch of bullshit. Also California never broke off into the ocean.  So i’d call his term a 100% success.

I mean his old campaign posters alone should win over your hearts and minds.

ALLLGGHHHHHH! VOTE OR DIE!

MTV and Sean P. Diddy Combs may have made Vote or Die “hip”.  But Arnold made it mandatory and literal.

So his campaign manager wanted us to see a softer side of Arnold.  The mother vote is key in Califlower.

Aaaalllllgggghhhh! BABIES!

The single mothers vote is big.  But don’t forget to Rock the Vote.  The youth is a big factor in one election ever and Arnold took a no holds approach to garner those votes.

ALLLRGHHHHH KIDS LOVE ICE CREAM! IF IT MELTS ICE CAN EAT IT!

You can’t forget the elderly people.  They still go to the post office;  so they know where polling places are and usually end up voting by accident while trying to pay their Readers Digest fees by check.

ALALALRLARLALRALRALGHGGHHHH I WILL WEAR YOUR CHRISTMAS SWEATERS!

That election was over before it even started. What about the Jackie Chan vote?

ALGHH! LETS MAKE THE TUXEDO 2! ALGH!

Ahhh Arnold Governor stuff, I am a very topical guy.

That is done!

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

MIIKE SNOW

BLACK TIN BOX

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