I stole this photograph from my brother. Apparently this exists and I can’t quite wrap my head around it. Or Rap my head around it. Nothing cool rhymes with Rootbeer Milk. Glutesmear Rilk? Those aren’t even words!
A much better seller than the Old Fashioned Mr. Pibb milk.
I looked this up on the internet and apparently it is real. Apparently back in history people would mix rootbeer and milk. I’m a little unsure still whether or not this is real. Because it’s “old fashioned” not “olde fashionede” adding e’s to the ends of words that don’t neede it makes things seeme oldere and more authentice.
How did this occur? Rootbeer milk. Those two things together sounds like the devil’s poison.
I get carmel eggs and ice cream tacos. Those make perfect sense to me. Wheat grass marshmallows and Jamba Juice nachos? These things I would mix in a heartbeat.
First of all milk is stupid and root beer is like the 8th best soda. I have no idea how this happened. Could I bet behind some milk squirt? Other than the name sounds horribly sexual and 100% unappetizing. I’d try it.
Hell, I’d even go Milk + Crystal Pepsi.
Quite frankly I’d be more psyched for turd water.
I’m going to calm my nerves with a sweet glass of Maple Syrup Ginger Ale. That would probably be the most canadian thing since, Canada.
Why doesn’t my Garmin have a monsters setting to show you where not to go? Last week I drove my honey right into a giant spider pit and then on the way home we were beaten up by chupacabras. It was a real big date buzz kill when your lady gets eaten by something… and it wasn’t me…. Yup. Gold.
Garmin “Turn left ahead to avoid swamp things…”
Now that is helpful information. Although I never update the thing so I would be jazzed for my Jamba Juice but I would end up:
Bad move monster. I may be brunch. But I got one last shit off in your mouth.
That is an actual poster you can buy from posters.com. I am no Fung Shui master but this must be part of the calming aura for babies rooms.
Map making apparently used to be a fucking amazing profession. All you do was randomly place monsters everywhere. If you were not a map maker or ocean adventurer you would literally think the ocean was just a big pile of monsters. It would be just like under my bed.
That's like a 25:1 Seamonsters to ship ratio! I like those odds for entertainment.
Monster N: Middle right is my favorite. That monster just plays lobsters. The other giant lobster gets mad so he tries to play a human. Silly lobster you can’t play a human, we are too fleshy you just cut us in half.
Red Duck! Lookout!
How could you ever entice anybody in Scandinavia to become a seafarer?
Sorry topographical, you are no longer my favorite type of map.
No wonder the world always thinks vikings were such bad asses. They had to kill like 200 sea monsters just to come rape and pillage your ancestors village. Your? Not mine? Well I am from swedish decent which I am pretty sure means I was just from a long line of love slaves to vikings.
NO MORE WORDS TODAY!
—
Awesome Song of the Day
Snowden
Anti Anti
Remember how I used to number the awesome song of the day? What happened you say? Addition happened.
THE A IS FOR AWESOME 
