WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AWESOMENESS: CALVIN AND HOBBS!

Believe it or not, my parents have a dog named Hobbes.  I like when people say “believe it or not” to things that are very normal and believable.  Believe it or not should be saved for when a meteor is heading for Earth right?  Nope.  Believe it or not, I had lunch today.  I want to meet the people who absolutely won’t believe that I saw a movie today.

No sir I don’t believe you, there is no way you could have rode the bus today.

Believe it or not I have a thing for women with three breasts.  Or maybe just Arnold movies about space espionage.

Back to Calvin and Hobbes.  That is a pretty awesome comic strip.  Comic Strips usually range for mediocre to awful.  Bizarro to Kathy.  I have lost so many readers right now who have no idea what the fuck comic strips are.  But I did gain a couple of awesome fans who were searching for Kathy today on google.  I think that would be awesome to make Kathy trend on Yahoo.  I think that if that happened I would have started the End of Days (yup more arnold refs).  Believe it or not I really did just start End of Days on my television.

Ack. That is her catchphrase. What is that she is reading? Kathy?

So to my dismay, and these are not new, I just kinda thought about it recently.  Somehow, and I do hope Mr. Calvin and Hobbes sold the rights to his comics to show either his huge love for Jesus or his over flowing hatred of the Green Bay Packers.  I know I could look these answers up on the internet but that would take time and I am to busy discovering Kathy porn.

That is why the Packers logo is yellow!

Mr. C & H ” Fuck, I hate Ford “, Calvin go pee on it.

Yea thats how it went.

Then he felt bad and was like.  “Jesus.  Forgive me.  I don’t hate Ford that much.  It’s now Dodge and the Raiders.”

Jesus answered, ” Fine, but I want a specialized bumper sticker for my Ferrari”  If Jesus drives a car it is a 88′ Ferrari Testerossa, still the single coolest car ever…

I wonder if they come with Calvin peeing on other religious symbols.... I heard he hates vishnu.

Where is Hobbes in all of this insanity? Ahhh yea at my parents house. Duh.

At least I know what the Calvin and Hobbes creator got all of his friends for Christmas.

He is either shitting, farting or sticking a dog bone in his ass. In any case. Happy Birthday everybody I will ever know from here on out.

You know who wouldn’t shit and piss on the Chevy Logo?

Chairman of the Board

Awesome song of the Day #164

Give Me Just A Little More Time

smoooootthhh

KITTY NO!

Sometimes I just search google and yahoo images for sweet pictures that get my creative juices flowin. I find that the internet pretty much has two main uses.

1. The obvious.  Porn.  Boobs and vaginas with dicks around them.

2. Adorable kitties and puppies.

Which is fine with me.  I love having titty jobs as my computer background and I rub out so much to I can Haz cheezburger.  Life is good for ole me.

But I lost my arousement today when I saw this “adorable” photo.

KITTY NO!

Somebody needs to punch that cat away from that candle.  Your fur is so soft and dry that it will just explode into a tiny mushroom cloud of cute fireball and your owner’s house will smell terrible!  Needless to say nobody likes hairless cats.

I do.

Of course you do Balkey from Perfect Strangers.  Jeez say it once say it a million times.  Foreigners!

See. Ewww. Fucking monster. Probably rape you if it could.

 

Now what about real cats?

I've got an idea. Take Phantom of the Opera. Make it suck. Cats. Done. Probably also equally likely to rape you.

You know what I love? Dogs and little kids that get the beauty of Rocky III.

No mesh half shirts? Half assed re-creation. Oh wait, that dog is eating that kid? Perfect 10.

Bear Portraits?

Ahhh Old Clemons. I boxed him to death. What a good friend he was. Good sport about the whole me punching him to death thing.

You ever start something and have no idea how the end happened? Where did the bear portrait come from you say? The internet.

–

Awesome Song of The Day #161

The Psychedelic Furs

Love My Way

Holy Shit. Whoever the 11 people are on youtube are that don’t like this video better watch out for when I ram my car into your house…. Just Sayin.