Archive for the Awesomeness Category

TV THEME SONG AWESOMENESS: FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR!

Posted in Actors, Awesome, Awesomeness, blog, happiness :), Humor, memories, The 90's with tags , , , , , , , on November 13, 2009 by tsanda

Never has a time in my life been as important as the years of 1990 to 1996.  Those glorious years took me on a trip.  I was told, once a week, maybe twice during sweeps about a time when a young man from Philly got in trouble with his mom.

Good night sweet prince, good night.  Damn you Will Smith for being so damn charming!

DAMN YOU WILL SMITH SO DAMN CHARMING! Alfred ain't bad either

He was just hanging out playing some basketball and using blue spray paint as deodorant.   But here unfortunately there were a couple of guys, they were wearing a lot of black, and had chains on and were standing by a boom box punching fists into their palms, believe you me that usually means biznas.  I was told that these guys were just up to nothing good.  They picked our hero up over their head and spun him around.   Oh I am sure he had a tummy ache.  So what happens next you ask? His mom shook her finger and said, You are going to live with your rich Aunt and Uncle in California, USA.  He you will learn to be materialistic and snobby.  Nice.

fresh prince of bel air

Yep, this is a free Wall Paper you can attain online. Just don't have you computer on next to mine.

So then he gets out of the cab, tells the cabby that the cabby smells, classic.  Then skips to the door knocks and spins his head around in anticipation of the antics him a Carlton will get into.  Such as this.  My favorite child hood memory.

Fade out to Jazzy Jeff getting thrown out of the house.  When I have a family I will force them to be exactly like the Bank’s.  Does somebody want to get thrown out of my house daily?

Who would win in a fight? The Tanners or the Banks? I’ll tell you.  All of us.

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Awesome Song of The Day # 70

Annie Lennox – Why (yes, yes I am serious, you honestly don’t turn this up to 11 in your car when you are alone and the windows are up?, yeah thought so…)

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HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS: HALLOWEEN!

Posted in Awesome, Awesomeness, Children, Holidays, Humor, Music, Stuff, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on October 30, 2009 by tsanda

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Says the fake tombstone in my neighbors front yard!  I thought he had killed somebody and buried them in his yard, I was super excited to not be the only one in the neighborhood known for killing people and burying them in the yard.  Which is a huge misconception because I actually eat them and sex up their dead bodies.  So silly to just bury them, I am like a native American I use all of the corpse.  I am eco friendly.  The green cereal killer I am known as in the cereal killer world.  This is weird, mom I don’t eat people….? Nice.

 

halloween

Note: perverts you do not stick your dick in these!

 

 

I mean finally! A holiday for us vegetable carvers of the world.  I tried to get smoke signals out of style by carving words into cucumbers and throwing them in the air.  It wasn’t very successful but we had a lot of pickles later so that was kinda cool.

You know what is sweet about halloween it combines all my favorite things.  I get to dress all sorts of seductive.  This is me from last year.

Ugghhhh huhhh there real!

UGHHH HUHHH THEY ARE REAL!

Secondly, I get a lot of free candy, Lastly, I get to give kids fruit with razor blades in it.  IT IS LIKE WIN WIN WIN!  HERE KID EAT THIS RAZOR BLADE!!! Oh you don’t want unwrapped items? Cool I rewraped this starburst and put acid on it! ENJOY YOUR TRIP! THERE ARE MONSTERS UNDER YOUR BED! WHAT!

Sorry i love halloween.  Time to go put on my garter and get down!  See you sometime tommorow.  Please hold my hair while I vomit.

BOOO!

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #65

OCTOPUS PROJECT – Bees Bein Stugglin (awesome)

 

TECHNOLOGY AWESOMENESS: LASERS!

Posted in Awesomeness, Dork, Humor, Music, Technology, Weapons on March 18, 2009 by tsanda

Guns Guns Guns… obsolete.  Sorry NRA

 

pewpeww...is anybody going to tell him thats just his hand? I think these doo doo on it also...

pewpeww...is anybody going to tell him thats just his hand? I think there is doo doo on it also...

Cannons…still pretty cool, but take to long to load. Swords, awesome!  My muscles…I mean I could just write the names of weapons for 5 pages and most would be sweet to heart attack awesome.  (so awesome it gives you a heart attack…which is one step above shit your pants awesome)

Lasers are the new kid in town… and he takes lots of steroids and will punch a hole through your car… so don’t talk shit.

The future is coming, and it’s going to either burn a hole in your face…or point out words on power point presentations.  The possibilities are limitless.  Do you think that if aliens come to Earth they are going to use bullets? Doubtful… remember ID4? I thought so… tons of lasers.  We will need something that not only looks badass and can be used in a concert to make you wanna dance more…but also melt through alien space ships.  You can never have too many lasers.

 

I stand corrected you can have to many lasers...

I stand corrected you can have to many lasers...

If we need to attack space itself? The space shuttle is not going to work, space will just explode it with its mind, thats how the challenger blew up (to early?)  Just need high intensity multiple beam laser attack.  Operation Space Explode Liberation Storm.

 

UP YOURS SPACE!

FUCK OFF SPACE!

I mean how else are you going to shoot your brother or GI Joe’s or those pesky neighborhood squirrels that try to eat your nuts with BB’s, in the dark?  LASERS! If the terminator needed to kill rodents this is the bb gun he would use.  And why? Just Look.

 

SARAH CONNAR! I HAVE COME TO KILL YOUR SQUIRRELS. (then you)

SARAH CONNAR! I HAVE COME TO KILL YOUR SQUIRRELS. (then you)

HA and its silenced?! Did BB guns even make that much noise!  I guess cannons are like big BB guns.  Okay P1908B…touche. 

Lesson Review.

1. Alien Issues? Lasers

2. Space Expanding into your backyard? Lasers

3. Hate squirrels? Answer to 1 & 2.  (and you might also be an asshole if you hate squirrels) 

 

 

 

DONE!

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Awesome song of the Day #12

we all know who won this beef…