Archive for the Holidays Category

HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS: THANKSGIVING!

Posted in Awesome, blog, Holidays, Humor, Music, Stuff with tags , , , , , on November 25, 2009 by tsanda

Thanksgiving.  Turkey’s get food stuffed up their butt and then get cooked… I didn’t make that up, we actually do that.

 

"hey science, find a way to put food up this birds ass... why don't you just use your hand? by god science your good"

 

 

At christmas we don’t shove mashed potatoes up a ducks ass, however that sounds wonderful.  How did we come to this putting food up other foods poopers and how can we do more of it.  I think mac and cheese up a cows ass would probably be like the 2nd coming of jesus.  Hey, religious types thats not blasphemous! Jesus has the blue box blues.

The story of thanksgiving white people sucked at trying to survive and native americans were really good at making turkeys and cranberry sauce.  The pilgrims introduced the natives to the detroit lions and some inflatable things in the air and the rest was history.

Things I am thankful for:

Explosions, godzilla, Marisa miller, space and hover shoes.  Although not invented yet, I am working away with Bill Nye to get those real.

Enjoy your turkey, I know sesame street will :

 

What the hell is cookie monster going to eat?

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Don’t forget to give thanks for me.  I am giving thanks for you right now!  More after the holiday!

stuffed!

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Awesome Song of The Day #74

LIVE – SELLING THE DRAMA

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HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS: HALLOWEEN!

Posted in Awesome, Awesomeness, Children, Holidays, Humor, Music, Stuff, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on October 30, 2009 by tsanda

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Says the fake tombstone in my neighbors front yard!  I thought he had killed somebody and buried them in his yard, I was super excited to not be the only one in the neighborhood known for killing people and burying them in the yard.  Which is a huge misconception because I actually eat them and sex up their dead bodies.  So silly to just bury them, I am like a native American I use all of the corpse.  I am eco friendly.  The green cereal killer I am known as in the cereal killer world.  This is weird, mom I don’t eat people….? Nice.

 

halloween

Note: perverts you do not stick your dick in these!

 

 

I mean finally! A holiday for us vegetable carvers of the world.  I tried to get smoke signals out of style by carving words into cucumbers and throwing them in the air.  It wasn’t very successful but we had a lot of pickles later so that was kinda cool.

You know what is sweet about halloween it combines all my favorite things.  I get to dress all sorts of seductive.  This is me from last year.

Ugghhhh huhhh there real!

UGHHH HUHHH THEY ARE REAL!

Secondly, I get a lot of free candy, Lastly, I get to give kids fruit with razor blades in it.  IT IS LIKE WIN WIN WIN!  HERE KID EAT THIS RAZOR BLADE!!! Oh you don’t want unwrapped items? Cool I rewraped this starburst and put acid on it! ENJOY YOUR TRIP! THERE ARE MONSTERS UNDER YOUR BED! WHAT!

Sorry i love halloween.  Time to go put on my garter and get down!  See you sometime tommorow.  Please hold my hair while I vomit.

BOOO!

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #65

OCTOPUS PROJECT – Bees Bein Stugglin (awesome)