MOVIE AWESOMENESS: THE HIDDEN!

The Hidden came out in 1987.  It is a gem of movie making genius.  It was an independent release at the time and made 5 million dollars.  According to my brain thats really good for then.  It is what movie nerds (myself) like to call a “cult classic” which is sorta odd because I don’t think the branch dividians or hale – boppers liked The Hidden… but they may have.  Never know … definitely not going to know now.  It is kinda a cliche to say but … I am going to say it anyways … they just don’t make them like this anymore.  

You are just waiting on the edge of your seat to learn why this movie deserves a movie awesomeness post.  Sorry, we are kinda cock teasing right now. Okay, here is the premise.  An alien comes to earth that loves to cause havoc and gets off on adrenaline.  So it goes around taking over human bodies, robs banks, kills people, gets into police chases in a Ferrari, tries to assassinate a politician, takes over a stripper and sexes a guy to death and those are the parts I can remember. Ohhh yea and if that wasn’t enough, and if it wasn’t your impossible to please, flame-throwers. 

 

Aliens have all the fun.

Sooooooo … how do the Earthlings have any chance against this thing?  They don’t really except for one hard as nails cop and an “FBI” agent who is actually another alien who just wants to murder that other asshole alien.  Like a non gay MIB.

The whole movie rocks but the beginning rivals such beginnings as Heat and Saving Private Ryan and Bambi.  So, this alien robs a bank, shoots a bunch of people with a shotgun, gets into a black Ferrari Testarossa and gets into a police chase.  Don’t mind that for some reason the police cars can keep up with a Ferrari thats no big deal.  A lot of crashing ensues.  Our asshole alien antagonist decides to hit a guy in a wheel chair and aims at two guys carrying a plate glass window across a street and smashing their window and heads on his windshield.  The cops then set a barrier, shoot him a bunch of times and he gets out of the car and smiles.  Then the Ferrari explodes.  So awesome.  Best part, found that clip on You Tube. Enough of me telling you about it, if a picture is worth a thousand words this clip is worth 47 trillion words.

HOLY SHIT! I OWN THIS ON VHS! AND DON’T OWN A VHS PLAYER! OHHH THE HUMANITY!

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Awesome song of the Day #28

Woodhands – I Wasn’t Made For Fighting

Video is sooooo coooool (with multiple o’s!)

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COMPLETELY USELESS AWESOMENESS: LAMBORGHINI DOORS!

Doors opening out is so impractical and frankly lame.  I mean you have smaller spots closer to the front door you could be parking at and the whole door opening thing ruins that.  Plus you accidently open your car door into the car next to you and then its a mess with paint missing and fisticuffs when that person finds out.  The simple and logical answer: doors that open up.  Just like in the future…but today…

 

This picture is a liar... a Lambo has never once been off a paved road.

I don’t know why all cars don’t incorporate the Lambo door.  I mean its useless and has no real value other than it looks fucking awesome.  There are certain things that just look awesome and thats its only job.  Sharks teeth on fighter planes, designs on goalie masks in hockey, grizzly bears and doors that open up.  Only important people exit a car under the doors.  GM, FORD and Dodge wouldn’t be going out of business if they just discontinued bullshit regular doors that open out and waste so much time and space.  Would you care your driving a Chevy Impala if the doors opened up? Dumb question … of course not.

Though somebody … cough cough…Mr. Delorean, did somehow fuck up this genius design by trying to appease everybody. Classic door opens out people and the hip new age people from the future who want their doors to open up.  So he had a door that opened out and up … which not only caused alot of head bumping, but you still opened the car door into the car next to you.  Lose Lose Lose.

 

At least it could time travel.

But not all is lost.  Somehow even cars that look dumb as shit get saved by an easy addition of Lambo doors. 

 

You don't even notice how dumb looking a stretch 300 is....all I see is the sexiest doors ever.

I am trying to incorporate Lambo doors on my house.  Front door that opens up.  Genius.  Thanks Italy, you finally did something I like…well 2 things.  Pasta kinda rules too.

Open your doors up… you know you want to.

OUT.

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Awesome Song of The Day #18