I am notorious for being easy to please. Con Air is on again? Well, so much for my daughter’s birthday. Well, honestly I actually got her the Con Air blue ray for her birthday. Which is basically the best birthday ever, I’d say. She disagreed and wanted sour patch kids, or cabbage patch kids or something like that… So welcome to adoption little miss bossy pants!
That last group of sentences is actually why I will never be allowed to offspring with somebody.
So I was at K-mart buying new headphones and trying not to get stabbed or talked to by anybody. I decided lunch was going to be (yes, you have read this right, somehow my lunch was originating from K-mart) candy. Sometimes a lunch of candy is just what no doctor anywhere ordered. I like the riddles skittles. I like how skittles make my jaw hurt. No pain no gain! That’s what my cat always says. I have no idea what the riddles part is though.
Whoa, what do I see? Mini fucking Rolos! Kablamo! (or insert your own sound of excitement) Although it is odd. Shooting off shotguns inside a K-Mart is actually legal and appropriate behavior.
Finally. The three things I have always been missing in my life. Not knowing the actual size of a candy I was about to buy. Don’t you hate when you accidently buy 3′ wide Werthers and the duffle bag they came in didn’t notify you of this? 2. I didn’t number 1, I hope this makes sense. They show with a picture that their claim to contain chocolate and carmel is not fully bullshit. I need visual proof. I might believe in Jesus on faith, but not fucking hidden carmel. Final thought. They are unwrapped! Although I feel bad for the indian children who lost their jobs wrapping Rolo’s. I always thought it was fucking nonsense that I had to open this candy and then unwrap more candy. I’m looking right at you Starbursts. I’m not into physical activity or puzzles. How do you open this tiny little candy origami? WHAT! I have to do it 8 more times! Ugh uncontrollable vomiting.
Just when I think I have lost all faith in American ingenuity the Rolo Corporation brings it back to a very modest level. USA!
Who wants musics!
Awesome Song of the Day #something
Yeah! I’m back! I haven’t done this since May? What is wrong with me.
Well I ate candy lunch from K-Mart. Alot.
Until the next time.