TRANSPORTATION AWESOMENESS: GETTING CARRIED!


The best way to get around? Definitely getting carried; behind teleportation pods from the Fly (minus the Fly of course….Silly Goldblum), spaceships, segway, golf carts, mario karts, and the occasional Sasquatch ride that is. Contrary to popular beef jerky ads Sasquatches are quite the gentle giants.  Nobody likes to be joshed around by strangers while you’re trying to catch some creek side zzzzzzz’s.

It begs the question. Is there a wrong way to get carried?

Bob Hope’s ghost – “No it doesn’t”

Balky – “Bob Hope’s Ghost that is a stretch, even for you…”

I’d be honored to be haunted by Bob Hope’s ghost.

Bob Hope’s Ghost – “thanks, although I didn’t tell you that I am a very rapey ghost.”

So I stumbled upon some news today that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is getting remade.  By Michael Bay.  He keeps remaking old stuff from my youth and trying to murder it.  Next he is going to remake classics like The Rock and Armageddon.  We will have to do a Terminator style thing where we send young awesome Michael Bay to stop old insanity Michael Bay from making movies.  Or at least add a little Aerosmith here and there.

In my TMNT readings I remembered Krang.  Who is a giant brain that uses a giant human exoskeleton suit to get carried around.

Krang, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, TMNT

Krang's face looks like that because his exoskeleton is shitting, and that thing only drinks Pabst and eats Cool Ranch Doritos.

That to me is a terrible location for Krang.  Why not just be the head.  As previously retorted you are right by that giant suits dangus and buttle.  All day its just shitting and pissing and it splashes on your brain matter and that stuff is hard to clean out of brain matter. I could just walk up like I am going to say Hi Krang and just punch Krang in the face. I’ll probably get torn in half soon there after, cause I hit like a 12 year old girl, but I’d get that one good shot it.  Probably not the best scenario for a evil mastermind to be easily punchable.

Better ways?

Master Blaster.

Master Blaster, Beyond the Thunderdome

Master Blaster's only weakness? Titty Twisters.

Little guy up there all protected laughing at all the Mel Gibson’s he makes clean up shit. Perfect.

What about Chewbacca?

C3P0 and Chewbacca, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back

Who keeps Signing My Blog?

Chewy has the right idea too.  C3PO is all tucked away and safe from danger.  Chewy kills the bad guys and PO gets to gently nap against Chewbacca’s hide. Now, I am not that into hunting or animal furs but if I could wear a chubacca fur around town.  I totally would.  It means I am fashionable, socialite and able to kill Chewbaccas.

The best?

Richard Gere, some lady, Officer and a Gentleman

They tried this with Louis Gossett Jr. but Richard Gere couldn't hold him up.

Getting carried out of your job and staring Gently into Richard Gere’s eyes. Takes the cake.

I guess staring into Chewy’s eyes would be pretty okay too.

That was a long one… Who wants some music?

Awesome Song of The Day

Sin Fan

Slow Lights

 

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