CRIME AWESOMENESS: GETTING ARRESTED FOR A TACO!

I am going to post an actual full news story.  So you can see that I am not full of shit. This actually happened. There are crimes that make no sense to me.  Murder, rape, animal sodomy.  Then there are crimes of extreme passion and necessity that I condone and completely understand. Stealing Tacos is definitely one of those.

ohh wait that is rap song with a chorus that is “I’m the 7th letter of the Alphabet, I’m a G”

Here we go:

“Today in: “Well, that was unnecessary,” we bring you the story of Erving Walker, the Florida Gators guard who allegedly stole a taco and didn’t get away with it. It wasn’t even a gourmet taco — it was the $3 dollar variety from a street vendor. Why, Erving, why?

Walker ordered a taco early Friday morning and ran away without paying. When cops started to follow him and ordered him to stop, Walker kept going. They soon caught up to him, however, and charged him with petty theft and resisting an officer.

You might think that Walker is a freshman, perhaps feeling a little high on helping his team make the Elite 8, and felt like a taco was perhaps owed to him. But Walker is a senior who felt deserving of a free taco. If this was, say, a Jamar Samuels type situation, then this theft would be sad. But Walker, who said he was “just playing around” when the cops caught him, looks to be the entitled collegiate-athlete type.

Walker wasn’t arrested, because the police probably recognized that being known as “the basketball player who steals tacos” is punishment enough. He will have to appear in court next month, where he may have to plead guilty to “stealing three dollars worth of tortilla, meat and cheese.” Sorry, that’s lawyer speak for “cheap taco.””

– some news publication.

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My favorite part is that Taco’s are amazing.

My second favorite part is that he got chased by the police to which he remarked.  “I was just playing around…”  Take it from Harrison Ford, authority types hate when you run from them.

“I didn’t steal that Taco!”  “I don’t care…”

How does this student athlete who is a top 5 all time leading scorer for Florida not out run Police Officers.  Cops these days are fat as hell.  I can briskly walk past most police and watching me makes them tired.

Thumb Wrestling for the Taco that was stolen. Getting winded in the process.

I’m pretty sure that cops love food related crimes.  They did a taco line up to figure out which taco was stolen.

Nom Nom Nom.

You guys ate the line up again? Well this handsome fucking blogger helped too.

Makes me recant my previous statement.  I might just kill somebody for a taco.  Dorito Shell Taco Bell? I’d stab for that.

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Awesome Song of The Day

Odd Future

Oldie

Seriously one of the best rap songs I’ve heard in ages.  I was never quite sure about these guys but this song is all the talent coming out and not being overshadowed by the weirdness.

 

 

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CAMPAIGN POSTERS!

It amazes me when people don’t have nice things to say about Arnold Schwarzenegger.  They say “that a-hole ruined California”.  Not true dick heads. He taught us a awesome way to say California that sounds like Cauliflower. Side note.  Cauliflower does not go over well for Valentines Day.  That girls loving flowers thing is a bunch of bullshit. Also California never broke off into the ocean.  So i’d call his term a 100% success.

I mean his old campaign posters alone should win over your hearts and minds.

ALLLGGHHHHHH! VOTE OR DIE!

MTV and Sean P. Diddy Combs may have made Vote or Die “hip”.  But Arnold made it mandatory and literal.

So his campaign manager wanted us to see a softer side of Arnold.  The mother vote is key in Califlower.

Aaaalllllgggghhhh! BABIES!

The single mothers vote is big.  But don’t forget to Rock the Vote.  The youth is a big factor in one election ever and Arnold took a no holds approach to garner those votes.

ALLLRGHHHHH KIDS LOVE ICE CREAM! IF IT MELTS ICE CAN EAT IT!

You can’t forget the elderly people.  They still go to the post office;  so they know where polling places are and usually end up voting by accident while trying to pay their Readers Digest fees by check.

ALALALRLARLALRALRALGHGGHHHH I WILL WEAR YOUR CHRISTMAS SWEATERS!

That election was over before it even started. What about the Jackie Chan vote?

ALGHH! LETS MAKE THE TUXEDO 2! ALGH!

Ahhh Arnold Governor stuff, I am a very topical guy.

That is done!

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

MIIKE SNOW

BLACK TIN BOX

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TV SHOW AWESOMENESS: AWAKE!

Again something I’ve never seen before.  I enjoy talking about stuff I know nothing about other than my immediate preconceptions. I find things are usually neater in my brain than in real life. Like how Wrath of the Titans has fucking nothing to do with Remember the Titans.  I was expecting a violently inspirational equal rights story.  Instead all we  get is Sam Waterston flying a horse.  What? Worthington? Damnit.  I thought he was stuck on a ledge.

Awake, according to a TV guide sentence I skimmed, is about a guy who gets in a car crash and either his son dies or his wife dies depending on whether or not he is dreaming and which dream/reality he is in.  That is a great idea.  However, that guy has the most depressing and boring dreams ever.  I’d have to decide between a world where I ride falcor to fight predators with John Spartan and Simon Phoenix.

John Spartan knitting me a red sleeveless kimono.

Addition Sign

Simon Phoenix is such a good name Nick Cage is fucking furious he was not in this movie.

Plus

Little Known Fact: Falcor was fired from the Rock-afire Explosion for railing to much coke.

=

Murdered Predator. I don't take spines and skulls though. I collect stamps.

It’s better than my alternate dreamality.

Shivers.

+

Damnit, I thought you were sleeping

Now my shrink has to figure out what is wrong with me.  Good Luck Billy Crystal.

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

Rock-afire explosion Covering Usher and Young Jeezy

Love in this Club