WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AWESOMENESS: CALVIN AND HOBBS!

Believe it or not, my parents have a dog named Hobbes.  I like when people say “believe it or not” to things that are very normal and believable.  Believe it or not should be saved for when a meteor is heading for Earth right?  Nope.  Believe it or not, I had lunch today.  I want to meet the people who absolutely won’t believe that I saw a movie today.

No sir I don’t believe you, there is no way you could have rode the bus today.

Believe it or not I have a thing for women with three breasts.  Or maybe just Arnold movies about space espionage.

Back to Calvin and Hobbes.  That is a pretty awesome comic strip.  Comic Strips usually range for mediocre to awful.  Bizarro to Kathy.  I have lost so many readers right now who have no idea what the fuck comic strips are.  But I did gain a couple of awesome fans who were searching for Kathy today on google.  I think that would be awesome to make Kathy trend on Yahoo.  I think that if that happened I would have started the End of Days (yup more arnold refs).  Believe it or not I really did just start End of Days on my television.

Ack. That is her catchphrase. What is that she is reading? Kathy?

So to my dismay, and these are not new, I just kinda thought about it recently.  Somehow, and I do hope Mr. Calvin and Hobbes sold the rights to his comics to show either his huge love for Jesus or his over flowing hatred of the Green Bay Packers.  I know I could look these answers up on the internet but that would take time and I am to busy discovering Kathy porn.

That is why the Packers logo is yellow!

Mr. C & H ” Fuck, I hate Ford “, Calvin go pee on it.

Yea thats how it went.

Then he felt bad and was like.  “Jesus.  Forgive me.  I don’t hate Ford that much.  It’s now Dodge and the Raiders.”

Jesus answered, ” Fine, but I want a specialized bumper sticker for my Ferrari”  If Jesus drives a car it is a 88′ Ferrari Testerossa, still the single coolest car ever…

I wonder if they come with Calvin peeing on other religious symbols.... I heard he hates vishnu.

Where is Hobbes in all of this insanity? Ahhh yea at my parents house. Duh.

At least I know what the Calvin and Hobbes creator got all of his friends for Christmas.

He is either shitting, farting or sticking a dog bone in his ass. In any case. Happy Birthday everybody I will ever know from here on out.

You know who wouldn’t shit and piss on the Chevy Logo?

Chairman of the Board

Awesome song of the Day #164

Give Me Just A Little More Time

smoooootthhh

GREATEST TIME OF THE YEAR AWESOMENESS: NO MORE BASEBALL!

Have you ever noticed there is an electricity in the air during this time of year.  Like static electricity bukakke all over the world.   It’s not just because my birthday happens and no, it is not the auuraaraa boree-0-lius.  Northern Lights, silly.  Don’t tell me its the magic of the NLDS.  Okay, the Red Sox epic collapse was pretty entertaining to hear about in passing.  Not many people are getting wet thinking about Albert Puljos.  It is the excitement of everybody under 65 not having to hear about or watch anything to do with baseball for the winter.  Sadly, the baseball off season is only about 4 days long.  They just drive to Phoenix and start playing again. Somebody said to me.  It isn’t that bad, is it?  It is America’s game.  You know baseball and apple pie.  Who even eats apple pie anymore? Fruit dessert?  That’s like a tofu popsicle, fucking bullshit!  Lou Gerig’s legacy? A horrible disease named after him.  Tommy John? Awful surgery.  Lou Pinella? Fat Jokes.  Well, those are okay.  So Lou Pinella walked into a bar and got stuck in the doorway.  Yup, another original! Hot off the presses.  Extra Extra read all about it. Yum Yum get me some.  A little Putt Putt for your butt butt.  I have gotta give props to Matt Geracie on the putt putt line, still makes me giggle.  Although, when I use that for a grace at family dinners I get the worst looks from my mom.

I decided to do a research project.  It can’t be all that bad can it? I mean I previously posted an Amazing baseball video. Karate Kick! I found three things I like about baseball on top of the random insane guy karate kicking people.  Which can’t hold my attention forever it has happened a whole once.  Those games last for like 5 hours and they play 182 of them? That is 5 trillion baseball games a year.  That a hundred billion trillion innings of baseball all time and only 1 crazy hobo got onto the diamond and starting kicking.  Probably wanted some hotdogs and when you want hot dog, sometimes people get kicked.  That is why I am not allowed at my neighborhood picnic anymore.  Apparently Mayor of Blank Town doesn’t like a kick to the side in the dog line.

#1.  Baseball to the face.

Baseball to the face. Masterpiece in motion.

Can’t this be a sport? A guy throws a 90 mph fastball into somebodies face and or nads… Okay, you bleeding hearts, we can make it convicted rapists or terrorist or something.  But don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch that.

#2) Exploding Birds?

This is Randy Johnson. Rocket Arming a bird to death.

This guy, 2nd point to him he has a gnarly mullet, pitched thousands of innings and the most exciting thing he did was explode a bird once.  I explode birds every weekend in my backyard.  It only costs a dollar to watch.

3.) The future of America falling down running the bases.

Coordination is not required for baseball. My type of helmet. Not doing a damn thing.

That’s it.  Grand Slams? I couldn’t care less. Double plays? I only care about Double Teams.

Comedy, action, multiple colored background. Here is Mr. October, and November through September.

Baseball has one thing going for it, Hotdogs… and Hideki Matsui.  He seems nice.

OUT!

—

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #163

CAMERAS

POLARISE

Album.  Please come out now!

MOVIE AWESOMENESS: REAL STEEL!

I haven’t seen Real Steel so don’t get too excited.  But I thought of what I am going to say if and when I get out of that movie.  “Real Steel? More like Real Steal, because that darn Adam just stole my heart”

The couple next to me will be like, “who the fuck are you talking too?”

I’ll then shrug and say, “I hate being the third wheel, you guys never make me feel like part of the gang”

They might say “well that’s because you have been following us around all day pretending to be on our date…”

I’ll then say…. “soooo threesome????” But with a real charm about it so they are forced to tag team me… in the parking lot of a Red Lobster, while I cry and eat cheddar biscuits.  What came first the cheddar or the biscuit!? Geez the wonders of the world just astound me!

Has anybody noticed where Real Steel got its idea from? Two guys were playing Rock Em Sock Em Robots and were like, this would make a great movie! A bunch of rich high fives.  The two guys next to them were playing battleship and said, This would make a great movie! and crickets were heard everywhere. Mainly because it was the night-time and they were in a rural area.

Board game movies?

I guess Operation was already made into a movie 7 times by Saw….

I can’t wait for the 48 hour epic Risk.  In which nobody ever finishes watching the movie because it is way to frustrating and boring.  You will occasionally find somebody who says they finished it and love it… but they are full of shit and know it.

I heard the graphics on real steel are wonderful!

Wow, the Hugh Jackman Robot is very lifelike. Not much armor though. Gonna get robot raped in the ring!

Wait a fucking minute.

Doesn’t that robot already hate Diane Lane in Judge Dredd?

Busted. Real Bullshit is more like it. Yup, gotcha.

BYE!

—

Awesome Song of the Day #162

Cameras – Defeatist

this song has played abooot 250 times on my ipod and itunes and icar (that’s just my car, didn’t sound cool just as car… Doesn’t sound very cool the former either…”

Video…artsy

Song…Amazing