FIGHTING TECHNIQUES AWESOMENESS: EATING SOMEBODY’S EYES OUT!


I have been around, you expect that now.  When I am not sleeping under your bed I am sleeping in it.  It is really comfy.  I am looking at you OMA, your bed is awesome.  But I have been slowly working on a new masterpiece about manliness it should launch sometime between now and next Haley Bop comet. Me and my cohort are going to melt some minds with that shit.

But I got to thinking my first love needed some dry humping, so I figured i’d come make a post.  I call blogging dry humping. It really gets people confused at the blogging conferences, it also makes me really embarrassed when I talk to girls.

I’ve been in my fair share of battle royales so I know a few things about dismantling people when my fists and feet.  Punching and kicking beats people up.  But it takes a while and I get all sorts of tuckered. I needed a new mastery of martial arts to end fights faster.  What does everybody have that are weaknesses? Chins? Nope some people have amazing chins, hit them with bricks and they just won’t go down. Temples? Same garbage … but… eyeballs? You can eat somebody’s eyeballs out of their face and they go down screaming followed by dying.  It is perfect.  It doesn’t take much time and they are never expecting it.  Eye balls are high in fiber. Sometimes they poop out like corn, full eyeballs!

Hey! Kickboxer!

-What?

Nom Nom Nom!

-AHHH! my EYES! I am dead!

That is exactly what happens over and over again.   I have become drunk on eyeball juice! I need more eyeballs! I could single handedly win all wars.  Navy Seals are defunct.  I would just eat some white face circles.

My only weakness? Blind people.  They just kick me in the throat and laugh.  I haven’t figured out there weakness yet. What about your noses though.  I have an idea….

You know what all of these people have in common? They haven't met me yet aka... I haven't had an eye eating orgy today.

I am just joshing ya! I don’t eat eyes.  They are so gross! But I sure like potato chips.

—-

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #155

XV – SWERVIN

best rap release of the year so far. Just fyi.

But if anybody wants to go eat some bums eyes I wouldn’t count it out…

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One Response to “FIGHTING TECHNIQUES AWESOMENESS: EATING SOMEBODY’S EYES OUT!”

  1. Blind people can hear your throat, even when you aren’t breathing and thus can kick it any time they want.

    Now roll over, you know I like the left side.

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