BUG AWESOMENESS: ANTS!


Ants. They can lift 100x their body weight.  Thats amazing.  I heard some ants can start fires with their brains, which could be a lie.  If bears could do that I would be screwed.  With all of my bear wrestling and bear decapitations, I would have no chance.  Thank God Ants are not Bears or visa versa… you know? Sometimes I wish I could be an ant.  Always working and digging tunnels.  Tunnels are the coolest form of homes, I tried to build a homemade of tunnels in my back yard and I just got covered in worms and got dirt under my nails and quit cause that feels weird.  Put some worms on my sac though.  Which is nice.

Now worms, they dig tunnels too, but they are assholes. So gross and sticky.  I don’t like to eat anything that doesn’t have eyes.  No fun in that, i want it to watch me eat it.  If they don’t know what is coming, then what is the point?  I usually want to hear it screaming too, but sometimes that gets morbid and you have to pull back on the crazy stuff.

Now there is an exception to this rule.  Spiders.  I can’t eat spiders.

Spiders Eyes

Ewww. Spiders have too many eyes! They are going to see me coming from a mile away and then bite my tongue! and eat my face off! I can't have that. The only person who can take my face/off is castor troy.

I stay away from spiders.  They stay away from me.  I don’t eat them, they don’t eat me.  Symbiotic relationship.  Unless they are near my shoes than I stomp them.  Its not really fair, i guess.

Ants, they are okay to eat though.  High Protein low fat.  Plus if you eat them you get their strength for 5 minutes.  But which is useless because I can already lift pieces of dirt and M & M’s on my own.  So I have to eat like 5,000 of them then I get a tummy ache.  Those things are sugary!  It is a tough trade off, crabby stommy and lift a car over my head.  Or just watch District 9 again.

So thats all.  Ants, me. BFF!

done with stuff.

Awesome Song of the Day #154

MIRRORS!

INTO THE HEART!

AWESOME! BRITS MAKE SOUND GOOD INSTRUMENTS NOISE.

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2 Responses to “BUG AWESOMENESS: ANTS!”

  1. I wish id thought to limit the number of people who could take my face off

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