CONSTRUCTION / LUMBAR JACK / NASTY WAYS TO KILL AWESOMENESS: TWO PERSON SAWS

Those two person saws are bad ass.  Things that take two people are usually way cooler than one person things.  Except for tandem bicycles.  Those people deserve punches to the dick, or dicks, depending if both seats are utilized.  If I ever freak out and sniper people from a clock tower, people on tandem bicycles are the first to go.  Followed by people who wear fidoras and are not 85 or a monkey.

I bet they got so into sawing that they sawed their sleeves off.

Redwoods stood for millions of years.  The bad asses of the tree world.  I’d say the Lodge-pole pine is… but apparently science says I am an idiot.  You ever smelled the fresh smell of lodge pole pine in the morning? It is like heaven came down from heaven and cut down the forest and made my deck for me.  It is heavenly.

So those redwoods, so stuck up.  One person couldn’t cut them down, they sat there laughing.  Pointing, spitting on humanity.  Until the two person saw was invented.  Now we can drive through a redwood. Eat them, burn them, domesticate them.  All thanks to saws.

When can I get a two person shotgun.  I know at least 6 people I could get to help me shoot it at bears and redwoods.  I’d pick so many fights with bears…..then… BLAM.

Bear would be like, haha you can’t even lift that shot gun, it needs two people.

Where did that other person come from? Under a log.

BAM! Bear for brunch.

And cantalope.

….

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #unknown ( I don’t want to go look which one)

Tapes N’ Tapes

SWM

DID YOU KNOW AWESOMENESS: DINOSAURS!

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT AND JURASSIC PARK IS IN FACT NOT A DOCUMENTARY! HOLY FUCK ME! MY PH. D THESIS IS FUCKED! IT IS DUE TOMORROW! AHHHHH!

WHAT TO DO?

I GOT IT.  VOLCANO DIARAMA! MY PH. D IS IN ROMAN HISTORY SO THE DINOSAURS FACTS SHEET WASN’T GOING TO WORK ANYWAYS. I THINK THE ROMAN EMPIRE ENDED DUE TO A VOLCANO.  NOBODY READS THOSE THESISES? THESI? ANYWAYS!

GIVE ME MY MEDAL OF EDUCATION.  A PH.D ISN’T A MEDAL! NOOOO! I WASTED SO MANY MINUTES ON THAT BULLCRAP!

Whatever.  At least I always have my underwear modeling career.

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Part II

I decided on part II today.  Not part eleven.

I really like music.  I like music like I like Pop Tart, I like all of the kinds.

Here is somebody who I love, BUCK 65.  He is a Canadian: indie, folk, hip hop musician.  He just makes unique, creative and well crafted music.  I can’t get enough.

AWESOME ARTIST OF THE DAY

BUCK 65

57 seconds through 1:40 is nuts. That sample fest makes by nuts tingle (or was that the fresca dip?)

that is a pretty good taste I think.

Enjoy.

 

 

SUNDAY AWESOMENESS: THE SUPERBOWL IS OVER!

You thought I was going to spend 10 pages hyperventilating over the Superbowl and all its glory.  Nope.  I only hyperventilate on certain circumstances and I don’t see 2 flights of stairs anywhere near me.

I like the Superbowl, but it only really means 1 thing to me.  I can now get stuff done on Sundays.  And by getting stuff done I mean Con Air.  I don’t mean hair curlers.  I don’t own hair doing stuff but if I did I would only buy Con Air supplies.

AND IN PINK!?!? Sold. Time to get some curls.

You know who needed Con Air hair supplies?

Obvious? Yes. Incredible? Yes.

Yup.  Just makes me smile.

Back to the Superbowl really quick.  I think I only like it so much because Super is such a weak adverbjective ( I never know which to use so I decided to invent a word that covers both, so luckily I am never wrong.)  Super? Do people even say Super anymore? Well, that movie was super.  Mom, your dinner was super.  That boat ride sure was super…  No, sounds retarded.  So many better way of saying the superbowl is the biggest thing on the planet! I vote for:

The Nut Tingle Bowl – it makes my nuts tingle.  But so does fresca so I might not be a good judge of nut tingling.

Bowlpocolypse – Ehh, the end of all bowls? I like this one… it sounds tough.  Like flexing near an explosion, or flexing so hard that something explodes.  Like the guy whose head I am squeezing in my arms.

Cow-a-bowl-gle – yea, only stupid people would like this one.

the Bowlocaust – ahh yes.  Offensive. Sure. Attention grabbing? Of course, and that is what the NFL needs.  It is getting stale with its censure ship and no hitting rules.  Time to get people talking.  I mean if there is anything I can do it is getting people to talk.  You don’t believe me?  64 people a day talk about this site.  No big deal.

Now I can sit back and get everything done on Sunday that I wanted to.  Wake, drink, eat, nap, swing dance and solve math divisions.

I don’t know if you knew that, but I am kinda a mather.  A guy who likes math.  I mean I love Good Will Hunting and that has lots of math in it.

Done

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #151

GROUPLOVE – COLOURS

fun, catchy, poppy.  Keeps that foot tapping.