Silk rubs your thighs like a magical cloud of sexual arousal. But unfortunately when you get sexual arousal while wearing silk pants it shows.  So I gotta tape me junk to my leg.  Yes, I do have to use lots of duck tape.  No, I never undo it… that would hurt like ripping duck tape off my dick.  So the ladies just use their imaginations.

Science facts tell us that silk comes from worms.  Silk worms. Go figure.  Worms? Worms shit out my sheets?

Silk Worms

I understand eating them, or rubbing them in my hair for vitality... but wearing them? I guess.

I like silk more when I thought it came from black holes in space.  Why would you laugh at that? something has to happen in black holes.  It can’t just be the end of everything.  See I thought matter goes in, silk comes out.  Another dream crushed.  Yes,  I dream about space silk. What do you dream about? Tea parties with dead aunts? LAME.

Why is it that the coolest stuff comes from worms? Silk… … … … You can eat them? They can get cut in half and live. They eat dirt.  I ate dirt once.

Now that I know all about silk.  I think it’s cool that worms butts make really expensive stuff.  I’ve been flushing my butt stuff for years.  Here i could have been weaving it into clothes this whole time.  I can start my own clothing line and get rid of that toilet that wastes so much water.  It will be a very green company.  I mean brown… but that doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Poop shirts



That’s a big number.  Half the way to a thousand.





  1. I am no expert on the subject of silk worms, and the quality of silk which is extracted from their bums, but I think you may have inadvertently stumbled upon a genius idea in regards to your your suggestion of a clothing range produced by the materials from your butt.

    If you were to have worms yourself, which you could somehow precure from your bum, then surely the quality of the silk from these would be the fineset the world has ever seen?

  2. Maybe if you went fully dirtatarian you could push a clean new pair of boxers out every morning. Think of the time you’ll save on laundry

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: