FURRY ALIEN AWESOMENESS: EWOKS!


EWOKS! I KNOW RIGHT!  I say that shit way to much.  Nobody sounds like a bigger idiot than when they say… “I know, Right!?”  It is the universal, “I have nothing interesting to add to the conversation, but I still want to say stuff at you”, and I say that garbage all the time.  Isn’t saying I know and Right really the same thing? They are both confirmers ( actual vocab word ((well in my mind))(((where I am a volcano surfer))))(((((I know right?))))))(((((what the fuck am I talking about))))))) Why so many ))))))), I dont know, a professor told me to do it. They are usually smart.

But ewoks, the important stuff, are cute and deadly. Most animals are 1 or the other.  Ninjas = cute, Ebola = Deadly.  My neighbor = deadly, my rosey cheeks (ass) = cute.  Ewoks blow up  AT-ST Chicken Walkers.  I may have no idea what a comma is, but I definitely know what a Chicken Walker is.  I assume it will soon be a fucking sweet rap song. Do the chicker walker… hmmm maybe not… I gotta work on my rap game.

Ewoks

They lull you in with the fur. Then stab you in the balls with pointy sticks.

Though they can’t stab a robot in the balls, because Robots don’t have balls.  So Rd2d can just talk shit all he wants.  “Beep Boop Beeep Beep Boop”…Which is R2D2 for go fuck yourself.  R2D2 is such a jerk!

A conversation between an ewok and a r2d2.

Yub Yub?

Beep Boop.

Eyyachi yub yub…

Beep Boop!

Yuuuuuubbbb?

Beep.

All I ever want to do is go to that awesome tree top party the Ewoks have every-time Return of the Jedi ends.  That party would be way lamer if they lost the battle for Endor.  A lot of storm troopers barbecuing Ewoks and Rancors running around eating their cats.

I bet some slow cooked St. Louis Ewok would be so tender and juicy.

The moral of the story.  Ewoks are my boys, but if push comes to shove, those cats gonna get eaten.

Do you know what song is playing at that party?

AWESOME SONG OF THAT DAY #148

SNAP!

POWER

Ewoks will attack and you WILL want that…because they are soooo fluffy.

 

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3 Responses to “FURRY ALIEN AWESOMENESS: EWOKS!”

  1. Ewok Adventure! I loved that movie back in the day!
    I also wanted to live in a sweet treehouse at that time too.

  2. Some hand rubbed St. Louis Ewok would be good with a salad with bacon bits. Can we make bacon from them too?

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