GIANT STUFF AWESOMENESS: GIANT CHESSBOARD!


I like my stuff giant.  Monster trucks, giant desert toilets for tourism, mothra, giant checks for my golf tour winnings and finally, for my intelligence and it’s constant yearning for mind stuff, giant chess boards.  Why would I want to play around with regular chess pieces when I can pay bums to dress like knights and werewolves?  Werewolves? Yeah, I don’t like the traditional pieces.  So I substituted the “rook” (smart talk for castle piece) with werewolves.  Because history teaches that werewolves couldn’t move diagonally.  I try to keep things historically accurate.

PICTURES!

Kid playing Giant Chess

That dumb shit thinks you can move a pawn two spaces... haha, only on the first move you turd. I turn my ascot down towards you. (huge elitist insult, 2nd to the crotch grab jump kick)

Why don’t we have other giant games?  Like battleship?  Ohhh I guess we do…Naval Warfare.  Not as fun.  I’m going to go play giant hungry hungry hippos, where you ask? Africa.  Duh Silly.

Hippo eating Alligator

Holyshit! At least he isn't hungry anymore...I think I won???

Hmmm, that was fun, although I lost my pet alligator to a dare. The dare? Hippo jumping.  Apparently Alligators can’t jump… Billy Nye where were you on that one?

I’m going to werewolf some pawns…. and yes I mean feed homeless people to a werewolf…

Okay I am going to eat them…

OUT

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #146

STARFUCKER

BURY US ALIVE

 

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2 Responses to “GIANT STUFF AWESOMENESS: GIANT CHESSBOARD!”

  1. As Meatloaf said, “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.” … at least he used to say that before he went on the skids for 10 or 15 years … before he came back.

    I like oversized stuff: it appeals to my sense of … sense … or something like that.

  2. Alligators refuse to train, that is why shit like that happens to them.

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