NORTHERN COLORADO AWESOMENESS: MINIATURE PANDA COWS!

Colorado just shit on you, son! Colorado is doing big things.  Watch your back Missouri.  I was born, raised and currently live in the fine State of square shape.  Colorado.  We have a lot going for us:  Mountains, scenic vistas, just recently the internet and the occasional El Chupacabra sighting.  I am here which is not to shabby either.  Tourists and nuns come the world over to get a glance of my ass.  There are 24 moles on my bottom that look just like Jesus, I actually think they look like Nanny Mcphee but I do have to look in a mirror which turns everything around.  Colorado is the biggest, most populated, highest elevation and danciest State in the Union.  I got those numbers from a unpublished book that I wrote.  So, it is true facts because they are from a book, but they aren’t published yet….sooo hang tight.

Just when you thought Colorado couldn’t shit on your state anymore?  Yup miniature panda cow!

UGHHH! SUCK ON SOME PANDA COWS.

Wait a tick. Is that just a cow that is black and white? Like 75% of all the cows that I ate for lunch today?  Whatever, I am running with it. According to the news outlets those cows sell for $30,000! I only have one question.  How does it taste? I can get 30,000 square cows from wendy’s for that price so I want to make sure that this is a good deal.  Okay, so for 30,000 you will also throw in a miniature camel giraffe and 4 over sized ardvarks?  Okay, these are terms I understand. Deal.

Why do feel the need to make everything miniature?

Answer. These pictures.

They are funny because they are small.

hmmm. i disagree with myself. King Sized snickers are way better. Fuck you me. Liar.

What can I say other than Colorado has way cooler cows than you do.  If there was a best state contest, Colorado’s talent would be miniature cows and fist punching.  Take your pick, you lose either way.

USA USA USA USA!

Out

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