HOLIDAY AWESOMENESS PART II: HALLOWEEN PART II


The II means too you stupid asshole.

I am really sorry, wow that was so unprofessional.  If you want your money back.  Send me a $5 dollar bill.  I’ll think about it.

It doesn’t mean too? Shit it means two? What the fuck is that? Too? It is to right? Bill Nye I need you!

He didn’t come, I have no idea.  Ill just go with 2twoooto.

So last halloween I wrote about vegetable carving.  Which is still awesome.  Want to see what I did this year?

Pickles

Cutting Pickles. Forget pumpkins! This is some next level shit. I do stuff so next level you probably think it's dumb as shit. Come find me in 50 years when everybuddy is cutting pickles in half for halloween. I'll be dead but my tombstone will just say "PICKLES!"

Actually, my tombstone will be a tombstone pizza box with an LCD (cause those will still be around in 50 years) TV playing Tombstone.   NEXT LEVEL SHIT!

I went over most of my favorite things last year but there are some other awesome shits about halloween.  How about this?  You go to a strangers house, ring the door bell, and say this lovely little rhyme.

“Trick of Treat, Smell My Feet, Give Me Something Good Two (? shit not again!) Eat”

When else can you come up with that for a holiday?  Imma say this to my moms this christmas.

“Merry Christmas Honcho, Smell My Nacho, Give Me Some Chicken Tacos”

Thats it. No presents just a lot of nacho smelling and chicken tacos.  It will be magical.  Santa comin down the Chimney and fillin a picnic basket full of chicken and smellin my nacho while I sleep.  He does know when you are sleeping! He stands in the corner and watches me until I sleep.  It would be creepy but I was really good this year and I want some fucking chicken tacos.

My next favorite thing about Halloween?  It is the only time that I can give this.

CANDY

HEY KIDS! Guess what I have! No my costume is the trench coat...

To these.

Trick or Treaters

HAHA. I am going to jail.

Ahh pedder jokes.  So classy.

Im Gonna get ready for Thanksgiving.  Nothing special for thanksgiving.  Thats when Jesus gave turkey to a rabbit because it showed them how to grow crops.  Or it is about trees or something.

SEE YA.

——

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

LIL WAYNE FT. GUCCI MANE

I do like ridiculous rap.  How redic?

“Big House Long Hallways, I’ve got 10 Bathrooms I Could Shit ALL DAY!”

—-

 

 

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