BACK TO WORK AWESOMENESS: WHAT THE CRAP HAVE I BEEN DOING?


So the last 3 months to 27 years I have been pretty lazy.  Blogs here, blogs there, drunken coke parties in charlie sheen’s closet. You know the usual. But a lot of people have asked what have you been doing with your free time you can’t always be locked naked in movies stars closets.  You’re right, I have other hobbies, passions if you will.  I am very passionate about stuff.

I like to wake up to a nice warm cup of bacon grease.  You make 28 strips of bacon.  You throw away all the bacon, cause it is bad for your heart silly!, you then take all the grease and gently rub it all over your chest.  It burns like shit but it definitely is better than shaving my chest every day.

Then after the screaming is over I have to go to my neighbors house and convince them that nobody died over here.  I have the hairless chest to prove it.

Next I do some science.  Lots and lots of science.

Scientist

Beakers and algarithms. Solving Science one Beaker at a time.

I end the day playing a game of space basketball with Karl Malone.

Karl Malone

KARL - "SPACE DUNK CONTEST, UP IN SPACE, ABOVE US, WHERE SPACE IS!" ME - "KARL I KNOW WHERE SPACE IS... WE PLAY THERE EVERYDAY YOU CAN STOP POINTING UP....JEESSSHHH!"

It isn’t really fair anymore since Karl loves space, he knows his way around the celestial bodies, he is amazing at basketball believe it or not, there is no gravity so that dude can jump like super high…like SUPER HIGH.  Now he uses SHAPE UPS! It is totally unfair! You should see his thighs. Actually, when it was announced that Shape Ups were going to use Karl Malone, their stock went up 10,000% (not an actual stock tip, so don’t get to stealing my ideas, I am looking at you Jim Cramer)  This is because I went out and bought 4 million pairs.  I want tight buns too.  Those are not just reserved for Karl Malone.

That is my usual day.  Sometimes, I nap.  Sometimes I don’t.  You know big things.

But life can’t always just be fun and games.  Time to get back to some serious topics, like space Malones.

Bye

I’ve missed you.

See you soon.

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #136

Ambulance LTD

ANECDOTE

CLASSIC!

great band hamstrung by legal trouble and band fighting.  Probably never hear new ambulance LTD music.  Shame.  At least we have beiber.

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4 Responses to “BACK TO WORK AWESOMENESS: WHAT THE CRAP HAVE I BEEN DOING?”

  1. The other day when Lindsay Lohan and I were playing “probation officer” there was an applewood/chemical smell in her bedroom. I eventually had to get dressed and leave. I haven’t been returning her calls since because I thought the smell was because of her, which still isn’t out of the question.

    Where were you on Monday?

  2. I mostly just sit in from of my computer in my whitey tighties and wait for you to update your blog.

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