HYDRATION AWESOMENESS: THE WRIST WATER BOTTLE!


Boring ass non hydrated wrist.  So non hydrated in fact that they just randomly break.

He refused to wear a wrist water bottle so I broke his wrist. Luckily however he did wear a camel back. His back is safe...for now. Assholes just don't get hydration.

You know who isn’t thirsty… me.  I don’t really have patience for all that water bottle holding up to my mouth and squeezing.  You risk missing your mouth, then it hits your eyes and now you are blind.  Or your hair gets wet and now it’s frizzy and I just can’t go to my black tie dinners with frizzy hair.  What if the water hits my shirt and now it looks like I am lactating … my bid for President of the Rotary is officially over!  But wait… I am saved! I can do my jazzercise at a fast passed tempo, work up a mighty sweat while I sit and be fit – and quench my thirst is style and efficiently.

The magic of the swiggies is that they only work in this exact pose. It is the physics of fluid arm dynamics that create the centrifugal force which vortexes the water into your pie hole.

Canteens are for loser.  Camel-baks are for camels.  Bottle Helmets are for beer. Wrist Swiggies are for fucking bad asses.  When I hang with Mr. Cooper we only drink our crystal pepsi from our wrists.  They tried to make anklies but they were to damn hard to drink out of…. but lord knows I will keep trying.

Have I thanked you for reading recently? No. Good.

I am just joshing ya! THANKS BABE!

Out!

——

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #128

PRIMITIVE RADIO GODS

STANDING OUTSIDE A BROKEN PHONE BOOTH WITH MONEY IN MY HAND

———-

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One Response to “HYDRATION AWESOMENESS: THE WRIST WATER BOTTLE!”

  1. […] Boring ass non hydrated wrist.  So non hydrated in fact that they just randomly break. You know who isn't thirsty… me.  I don't really have patience for all that water bottle holding up to my … Read More […]

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