MONSTER AWESOMENESS: BIGFOOT (aka Sasquatch!) DISCOVERED….AGAIN!

I have always wondered what I am going to do when I encounter Bigfoot in the hallways of my office or just outside of my cubicle.  It will be scary. I will be scared, my pants will be full and smell bad.  That is as far as I have figured out. Past the point of shitting myself I am pretty much at a loss of what I would do.

Luckily a South Carolina man has taught me exactly what to say.  Luckily it is short and has a lot of southern accent in it.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/06/21/bigfoot.psychology.monsters

You only need the second paragraph.

“GIT!”

Ohhh man, it would be so priceless to have seen bigfoot’s reaction to that.

Dude – probably in coveralls with a piece of straw in is mouth.  I am thinking no shoes? Or shoes that are missing the toes? No, not sandals for everybody not from the south, something like this.

Next hipster trend... guaranteed.

This guy sees a bigfoot or maybe bigfeets, harassing his dogs.  I assume they were pulling their tales and petting them against the direction of their fur. Ohhh boy do dogs hate that shit!  You know what dogs hate more than that shit! BIGFOOT! If dogs could yell holy crap its bigfoot I am outta here… they would.  But they can’t so stop fucking day dreaming

He grabs his shotgun? Nope.  Big rock? Nope, Bazooka? Nah.  He classically yells “GIT!”

That’s what I yell at racoons who eat my garbage.  Or those pesky teenagers who are up to no good down the street.  Druggy mother fuckers.

You don’t yell Git at a classic mythical (or is it?) creature who is fucking with your dogs.  You record that shit and send it to America’s Funniest Home Videos! 10 G’s Son!

Bigfoot totally just flipped that guy off and ate his dogs. Then sat and chilled with Ronald McDonald.  Had a McRib, cause the dogs didn’t fill him up.

Hey, BIGFOOT! Leave Ronald Alone..... GIT!

So much happiness this southern belle has brought me today

Im out.

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Awesome Song of The Day #122

OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW

WAGON WHEEL

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