WORLD WAR III AWESOMENESS: THE WORLD CUP!

Ewww the World Cup, 2 girls 1 cup was bad enough I can’t imagine a World Cup.  Kinda makes me wanna throw up on somebody…

But in all seriousness the entire world just exploded with excitement. THE ENTIRE WORLD.  Ohh a Billion people watch the Super Bowl? Yeah I guess that’s neat and there are some really neat commercials for 3 hours, plus I get an excuse to eat a lot of chips, corn chips if you must know. Yes i start my diet again the day after! But the world cup = 6 -7 billion people all yelling GOOAAAALLLLL!!!! to be fair a few brits are yelling “oye!” and there are a couple Americans asking where their pads and helmets are.

The World Cup is a month of all out hatred for other nations! I literally hope England gets in a real bad car accident today.  What kind of car would England drive? Mini? Aston Martin? Bentley? Nope, Ford Fiesta, they love those things over in Europe.

The 1987 Ford Fiesta, carrying England just was Tboned by Slovakia who were driving a Yugo.

It really is like World War III just started momentarily and U2 sings the theme song.  It is not that I hate Europe, it is that I love America and they hate us and I hate the Ford Fiesta, I am much more partial to the Dodge Pool Party.  Don’t think for a second that everybody in England is not chanting THE U.S. ARE WANKERS in complete unison right now. Which would be quite the amazing feat, Color me impressed.  Everybody talks about the unity the world cup brings.  HA I don’t buy it. It brings different cultures to the same country to drink Pabst and sleep in the streets.

Here are some good examples of the unity the world cup brings.

Nut stomp. Very unifying. Go world!

and….. bald people are just angry.

Zinedine thanking Matterazi for the lovely brunch they had earlier. Europe doesn't shake hands just head butt

But no unity is okay, badass is good enough for me.  I mean Lakers Celtics maybe 3 more times. Ewww, lemme Gun Brains Wall. (alot of people always say things like, I wanted to blow my brains out or that makes me want to shoot myself in the face…. well I do when this nba finals comes on, apparently I want to go out with a gun to my dome piece, so I just shortened it to Gun Brain Wall, gun shoots my brain, my brain hits the wall).  But a month of Soccer to prove who the best Nation is?  Sold.

Sucks for the rest of the world though, even if they win, they still aren’t the USA! WHOAAA! Sea to shining sea bitches!

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #120

LEE GREENWOOD

GOD BLESS THE U.S.A

so american, so fucking great.

GO AMERICA! WE OWNED ENGLAND IN THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR! TIME FOR ROUND 2!

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Time to watch soccer, no chips during the world cup.  The world cup calls for bon bons and toblerones.