LASER AWESOMENESS: 50TH ANNIVERSARY!


I am a bad lover.  I love lasers and it’s our 50th anniversary today. http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/05/14/laser.fifty/index.html?hpt=C2  I didn’t get you anything.  Not a card, or flowers or even chocolates.  Even though you would cut the card in half, with extreme precision.  Burn up the flowers with minimal effort and melt that chocolate into a lovely fondue with which I would rub all over you metal body. 

I have taken so much from you.  Loving movies that exploit you. Hoping the military exploits you soon.  Hoping that we get space guns in the near future so I can laser things at my own free will.  Like a cold burrito.  Put that baby on low and gently rewarm my lunch.  Or if a bear breaks into my house and attempt to eat my face.  Switch that baby to high and laser off a bears head.  Maybe go shark fishing.  I don’t know there are to many things I just get to excited.

What do I give you? Nothing.  I refuse to fund your development. Cause crap baby your expensive.  Have I ever made you dinner? Nope.  When was the last time we watched a sunset? Never, because I am too busy watching them with my dog.  Eligh loves him some emotional sunset watching.  Gotta make sure you bring enough tissues though, cause you get that pup in front of natures granduer (that is gonna stay misspelled spell check doesnt know then I am fucked) and he just loses it.  What a silly goose he is.  He is actually not a goose so that saying makes about as much sense as this post. But thats okay because I love lasers and when you are in love you do silly things. And that’s okay.  So here is to you my old lover.  I will not call you or make you a maccaroni necklace, that is reserved for Jackie Chan, I will not sing or write you a song because I am writing one for the band Live, and I will not go see your folks for Thanksgiving. 

I will however post a bunch of laser porn.

LASER BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I LOVE YOUR GLOW!

 

LASER PUMPKIN! WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME...AND WITH A PUMPKIN? JUST CAUSE I DID THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN!

UGHHHHHHHH OVERLOAD MUST. CHANGE. MY. PANTS!

 

It is just so hard to stay away. I know it's not healthy but your just so badass.

No song today.

Song Soon

Enjoy your lasers.

Advertisements

6 Responses to “LASER AWESOMENESS: 50TH ANNIVERSARY!”

  1. Counter Culture Clown Says:

    I had a conjoined twin removed by a laser. False story!

  2. Counter Culture Clown Says:

    I had a conjoined twin removed by a laser. False story!

  3. Counter Culture Clown Says:

    V.V Please ignore double post. Interwebs hates me. I should shoot it with a laser.

  4. What? She left you for a gourd? What a bitch. Lets go have a beer.

  5. Lasers are flashlights with an attitude.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: