Archive for May, 2010

BUSINESS OWNERSHIP AWESOMENESS: OWNING A FOUNTAIN!

Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Dork, Humor, Stuff with tags on May 19, 2010 by tsanda

Hey I didn’t go to Harvard business school but I know a good business opportunity when I see one.  You only need a few ingredients.  Dumb people, poor financial planning, gullibility, some expendable income and a puddle or rocks with water in the middle or a bucket would probably work.  Put a bucket outside your business put a sign that say 25C wishes.  Then a few hours later go hit on the babes at the local casino. Cause your gonna have so many fucking 25 cent pieces! (quarters for the lay person, hey lay person go get some knowledge before you troll around my work)

old lady gambles

Ohhh yea sexy stuff. Look at my bucket O' Quarters. Steak dinners are on me tonight.

Once your have had your fill of the elderly, second hand smoke and casino surf and turf you can go back and replenish the bucket.  Because people always throw money into fountains. It is incredible. And don’t get me wrong folks, I am not calling these people dumb or assholes, well kinda, but I do it too.  I see a fountain and I grab my last nickel (wow who would have thought that word was el….huh learn something everyday), Then I wish that daredevil and Verne from the Ernest movies would hang out with me.  Then I flip it ever so daintily and wait for my dreams to come true. Re reading that paragraph makes it sound like I am dumb asshole. … Takes one to know one. Yup. (what?)  I dont know just keep reading.

Back to fountains.  I swear to god I’ve seen fountains with like 10,000 coins in them!!! That could be any where from 1-17 million dollars. National debt solved. The I need a new hair dryer fund, solved. Lunch = done and done.

girls throwing money

Somebody told these ladies that if you thrown them backwards you dreams are more likely to come true... idiots. Plus that looks like the ocean... way to kill dolphins...bitches

In fact throwing money in backwards is like reversing your wish.  I wanna live forever wish = just hit but a bus.  I want a million dollars = just hit by a bus.  I want a pet monkey = this one you actually get a pet monkey but its the fuck from Outbreak and you get ebola and die a horrible death before Cuba Gooding Jr can fly a helicopter through a canyon.  Yea you forgot about that part it’s okay.  It’s wonderful.

Last but not least if you just put one at your house stupid fat kids will just give you beer / crack money – It is okay I do not judge.

Thanks boys. Wait a minute are these wooden nickels? .

One last great thing.  If you and pals wanna dance around in the fountain you will just maybe get your own sitcom… that wasn’t as good as Seinfeld…

ENOUGH OF FOUNTAINS!!!!!

Yea, took that outro up a notch. Like the way this came together

HELICOPTERS! AND MISSILES AND STUFF!

Awesome Song of The Day #117

The Zombies

Time of the Season

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RIP DIO!

Posted in awesome song of the day, Uncategorized with tags on May 16, 2010 by tsanda

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #116

RAINBOW IN THE DARK

RONNIE JAMES DIO

RIP!

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LASER AWESOMENESS: 50TH ANNIVERSARY!

Posted in Awesome, awesomness, blog, Dork, Humor, Lasers, News with tags , , , , , on May 14, 2010 by tsanda

I am a bad lover.  I love lasers and it’s our 50th anniversary today. http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/05/14/laser.fifty/index.html?hpt=C2  I didn’t get you anything.  Not a card, or flowers or even chocolates.  Even though you would cut the card in half, with extreme precision.  Burn up the flowers with minimal effort and melt that chocolate into a lovely fondue with which I would rub all over you metal body. 

I have taken so much from you.  Loving movies that exploit you. Hoping the military exploits you soon.  Hoping that we get space guns in the near future so I can laser things at my own free will.  Like a cold burrito.  Put that baby on low and gently rewarm my lunch.  Or if a bear breaks into my house and attempt to eat my face.  Switch that baby to high and laser off a bears head.  Maybe go shark fishing.  I don’t know there are to many things I just get to excited.

What do I give you? Nothing.  I refuse to fund your development. Cause crap baby your expensive.  Have I ever made you dinner? Nope.  When was the last time we watched a sunset? Never, because I am too busy watching them with my dog.  Eligh loves him some emotional sunset watching.  Gotta make sure you bring enough tissues though, cause you get that pup in front of natures granduer (that is gonna stay misspelled spell check doesnt know then I am fucked) and he just loses it.  What a silly goose he is.  He is actually not a goose so that saying makes about as much sense as this post. But thats okay because I love lasers and when you are in love you do silly things. And that’s okay.  So here is to you my old lover.  I will not call you or make you a maccaroni necklace, that is reserved for Jackie Chan, I will not sing or write you a song because I am writing one for the band Live, and I will not go see your folks for Thanksgiving. 

I will however post a bunch of laser porn.

LASER BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I LOVE YOUR GLOW!

 

LASER PUMPKIN! WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME...AND WITH A PUMPKIN? JUST CAUSE I DID THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN!

UGHHHHHHHH OVERLOAD MUST. CHANGE. MY. PANTS!

 

It is just so hard to stay away. I know it's not healthy but your just so badass.

No song today.

Song Soon

Enjoy your lasers.